Reply to: Times where you nearly 'bought the farm', had things been slightly different

[vetran]

FTFY

that was for Mauve monkey?

[MrMarkyMark]

FTFY

You should always assume in London that someone is going to get in your way, of purchasing your dream house, by guzumping you.

[BrilloPad]

Timing of this thread...

On the way back from the airport today I was lane splitting through the rush hour traffic. An Audi door was flung open open as a young mother indistinctly reacted to her crying baby in the back seat. The sound of 500kg of motorcycle, rider & pillion screeching to a halt was only surpassed by the look on her face when she heard, then saw it approaching. I looked at her in amazement (she was amazingly beautiful), she apologised and got back into the car.

I shall not complain about Integral ABS ever again.

Recently I was on Eltham High Street meeting my kids for dinner. I was oin pavement near pedestrian crossing. The road had queueing traffic. A motorcycle came up the outside quite quickly - over pedestrian crossing. Lights green for the motorcycle. Woman with buggy and 2 small children going over crossing. Motorcycle stood on front wheel and only just avoided flipping over the top.

Although the motorcycle had the right of way(lights green, traffic stationary), you should always assume in London that someone is going to get in your way.

[clearedforlanding]

I remember the last time I nearly bought the farm, it was a close thing.



However, £15m for 300 acres including agricultural building, livestock and farm hands didn't stack up. So I walked.

HTH BIDI

I supposes MF snapped it up.

[AtW]

I remember the last time I nearly bought the farm, it was a close thing.

However, £15 and all my food stamps for 300 acorns didn't stack up. So I walked.

HTH BIDI

FTFY

[DimPrawn]

I remember the last time I nearly bought the farm, it was a close thing.



However, £15m for 300 acres including agricultural building, livestock and farm hands didn't stack up. So I walked.

HTH BIDI

[clearedforlanding]

Timing of this thread...

On the way back from the airport today I was lane splitting through the rush hour traffic. An Audi door was flung open open as a young mother indistinctly reacted to her crying baby in the back seat. The sound of 500kg of motorcycle, rider & pillion screeching to a halt was only surpassed by the look on her face when she heard, then saw it approaching. I looked at her in amazement (she was amazingly beautiful), she apologised and got back into the car.

I shall not complain about Integral ABS ever again.

[FatLazyContractor]

and I landed in some shallow water in Borneo, right next to a 7-11. Well imagine my bloody surprise when I found they didn't have champers and I had to do with a bottle of cheap red wine. .

Let me guess, you survived, because both fat and turd float on water

[MarillionFan]

Why don't you Walter Mitties wait for MF to post his flying experiences?

I was almost killed on a plane journey recently.

I was flying on a Malaysian flight MH370 when about an hour in when they ran out of Champers. I had a slight disagreement with the cabin crew and so told them not to worry and I'd bail out & get some. So I took the life jacket from under the seat and a large jacket from a fat lady next to me. Opening the door I leapt out.

Well it was bloody windy I can tell you, but the jacket acted as a parachute and I landed in some shallow water in Borneo, right next to a 7-11. Well imagine my bloody surprise when I found they didn't have champers and I had to do with a bottle of cheap red wine.

Also they lost my bloody luggage. Only flew with them once more, in Russia last year. I was so pissed I don't remember the flight and woke up on the back of a tractor near Minsk.

[OwlHoot]

Only close call I was aware of was a massive oak tree keeling over about 20 feet behind me in a Autumn gale.

Probably weighed a good 500 tons, as the four foot thick trunk was totally water logged, and it landed with a terrific crash!

[d000hg]

I was flying back from Italy several years ago when we hit some turbulence. It was just as the trolley dolly was serving out spaghetti Bolognese which she managed to spill onto her fat gut. Anyway, she was a big Marillion Fan, and told me to say that it wasn't turbulence but a tornado blowing through that caused the accident.


I laughed so hard I almost shat myself to death.

I was flying back from Finland the other day and the silly stewardess had given me so much single malt it spilled when we hit turbulence.

[Lockhouse]

Did you jump onto the windscreen as it hit you. How come you didn't just end up under the grille?

At the last moment i saw the car and reacted which probably saved my life.

[oracleslave]

When I was 19 I got hit by a car whilst crossing the road. I went straight through the windscreen, then got flipped over the top, landing around 30 feet down the road. Still have issues with the injuries sustained 35 years later.

The moral of this story is; never wear sunglasses at night.

Did you jump onto the windscreen as it hit you. How come you didn't just end up under the grille?

[WTFH]

I was flying back from Italy several years ago when we hit some turbulence. It was just as the trolley dolly was serving out spaghetti Bolognese which she managed to spill onto her fat gut. Anyway, she was a big Marillion Fan, and told me to say that it wasn't turbulence but a tornado blowing through that caused the accident.


I laughed so hard I almost shat myself to death.

[FatLazyContractor]

When I was 19 I got hit by a car whilst crossing the road. I went straight through the windscreen, then got flipped over the top, landing around 30 feet down the road. Still have issues with the injuries sustained 35 years later.

The moral of this story is; never wear sunglasses at night.

Who was wearing sunglasses in your story?