Reply to: The bad flying experience thread

[EternalOptimist]

I hear that Indonesian airlines are introducing new cockpit safety devices.
Pitbull terriers, to keep the pilots away from the controls

[TheFaQQer]

Any landing - I use the term loosely - at lukla. Come to that departure is a touch hair raising too.

Taxiing doesn't look too nice, either

[KentPhilip]

The horror though was there was no ice for my G&T.

No ice bucket challenge for you then!

[stek]

Both me and the mrs departing Vienna Airport (shiithole) cutting it fine on separate flights got consecutive on-tannoy bollockings to hurry the feck up....

[Pondlife]

Got paged at Schlipol,while waiting for a flight with a colleague in the bar.

This is how you pronounce Schiphol after too long at the bar.

[Platypus]

Any landing - I use the term loosely - at lukla. Come to that departure is a touch hair raising too.

Ha ha a friend of mine has been there. He told me about it. hair raising indeed !

[NotAllThere]

They ran out of Champagne on my last flight about half way through. I thought I was going to die !

Got paged at Schlipol,while waiting for a flight with a colleague in the bar. Didn't realise we were still ten minutes from the gate. Got to the gate, ushered through onto the bus, full of people waiting just for us... this was 2003, during the 40°C+ heatwave...

Last on, so first off, into the aircraft. We were in business class, so we were also the first to sit down. With champagne in hand we could feel the love as everyone filed passed. The horror though was there was no ice for my G&T.

[I just need to test it]

I wonder if his wife made a similar apology once she'd agreed to use it on him.

[Pondlife]

Many moons ago when I was at Uni I used to work at the airport doing security during the holidays. You split your time between the flight cone checking hand luggage & searching people who trigger the archway metal detectors, with the rest of the time manning the xray for hold luggage. I'm not sure how the technology has improved over the past 20 years but back then the xray showed organic material (books/explosives) as orange, thin metal(wires) as blue and denser materials (lead crystal/batteries) as green. The denser the material, the brighter the image. Anyway, you get used to identifying the typical items in your average holiday luggage. E.g. The underwires in bras, the motor in a hairdryer or the glass lens in a camera. Bear in mind this Cardiff we're talking about, so it's just your normal week in the sun type of flight.

One day I was watching the cases go by on the screen when I saw something that I'd not seen before and so I paused the belt and flagged the bag for a manual search. This meant that the bag was given back to the passenger who took it to a partitioned off area to be checked. As I didn't know what the item was, I went down to the checking area for a nose.

The guy handed over his bag a bit sheepishly which was always a cause for suspicion. He also told his wife to head on upstairs to departures and that he'd follow her shortly. She declined and stayed with him.

The bag had the usual crap, magazines, jumper, whatever in it except that there was also a toiletry bag.

In the toiletry bag was the previously unidentified vibrator that HE had and that his wife knew nothing about.

I'm guessing that wasn't his best flying experience.



Apols for the long/boring run up.

[MyUserName]

Chinese lube any good?

Cheers

MF

I'm not sure whether he brought any with him, he might have been stuck using the local stuff, Deep Heat or something.

[suityou01]

Chinese lube any good?

Cheers

MF

[MyUserName]

Once I was queuing to get my luggage checked at, I think, Princeton airport in the US. Or somewhere near Princeton anyway. I was with a Chinese guy I worked with and was coming home from a business trip.

Walking up and down the queue was a gigantic security guard who kept staring at people as he walked passed them. As he walked passed us the Chinese guy I was with turned to me and loudly said "So, have you still got the bomb?".

[DiscoStu]

Any Ryanair flight.

I'd rather walk than give a single penny of my hard-earned to O'Leary.

[suityou01]

Any Ryanair flight.

[KentPhilip]

Is now a bad time to mention I have recently qualified as a pilot?
I'm happy to give anyone here a flight. Any takers? No? No really I am quite safe..