Best Excuse for terminating a contract

[Liability]

Just walk in one day with your underpants and flip flops and sit down saying "you feel strange today"; follow that up by cirlcing your nipples after putting your fingers in your mouth shouting "divine divine - yeh baby!" that will get the result you are after.

[DaveB]

I started a job a few years abck after the previous incumbant had left on short notice.

Apparently they had hired him a month or so previously and been really impressed with his dedication and commitment. First in, last out every day.

Turns out the reason for this was he was drinking heavily and sleeping in the office. It only came to light when he dismantled a *very* expensive exhibition stand so he could lay the panels accross two desks as a makeshift bed one night, and broke it in the process.

So if you need a quick get out, just be found sleeping under your desk in the morning, cuddling an empty bottle. Shouldnt take more than a couple of days

[Crusoe101]

I do that most mornings though ;0)

[po066296]

Feign mental illness 'Stress' pressure getting too much for you staying away from home etc etc. Nobody wants a fruitloop working for them.

If you wont ever need a reference from them go in one morning stinking of drink.

[stuart_75]

I hear the "ill family member" blag all the time. Everyone uses it.

[BolshieBastard]

Have an interview for gig closer to home but currently have 2 months left on my current contract. I have to stay away at present through the week and the long journeys are starting to get me down.

What is the best excuse any one has used to end a contract early?

This one is a managerial position although they are interviewing next week for a permie replacement

Straight answer is dont ******* interview more than 4 weeks before the current role is due to end. Simples!

[Turion]

I was at a place one where one Friday afternoon the Sys admin came back phissed, as was normal. Problem was he was then asked by a nobbo manager to do some special system optimisation to run that evening. He hadn't done it before and was leafing through the manuals, muttering that this was not the 'right time'.

Later that afternoon everything went down and stayed down with the managers running round like headless chickens - looking for this guy. Realizing what he'd done he got his timesheet quickly signed and left. Took the whole weekend to restore service.

On Monday morning the manager got a sheepish email owning up to the 'mistake' due to a sudden 'mental health' problem and that he left quickly on Friday to seek medical help (after getting timesheet signed) and now he was on indefinite sick leave

Met him months later. He said he was a p1ssed and made an honest, but mega mistake. Said the manager should not have asked him to do that job as he knew about the Friday drinking sessions. The sickness bit was to ward off any possible imdemnity claims.

Strange thing is, he said he started a new contract on the Monday after the balls up. So I think he was going to leave anyway.

So the lesson is - make a right mess up and they'll be glad you're going.

[pzz76077]

Two that spring to mind...

I once had one of my contractors (an Oracle DBA) call me up and tell me that he couldn't come in for a few days because a reindeer had just fallen on him- I thought that it was plausible at the time as it was Christmas, but I have to be honest and say that I have had a few doubts over the years! We never did see him again....

I also had a guy (also a DBA) call me and say that he couldn't come in because his cat had got stuck in his electric toaster and he had to wait in for the emergency services to come round and sort things out.
We never saw him again either....


I guess the main lesson learned from these two episodes is that before you take a DBA on, check to see if what kind of animals they keep in their household first...

PZZ

[BlasterBates]

presumably you wouldn't start straight away and whether you leave in 3 or 4 weeks ir 8 weeks really isn't going to make a lot of difference.

I find once you've told someone your leaving it takes on a dynamic and you'll end up with some reasonable compromise. If they really need you you can offer to do some weekends or work partime (one day a week). Usually if they get angry that just stiffens your resolve and you'll just leave anyway.

[Crusoe101]

Good answer and noted

[malvolio]

Have an interview for gig closer to home but currently have 2 months left on my current contract. I have to stay away at present through the week and the long journeys are starting to get me down.

What is the best excuse any one has used to end a contract early?

This one is a managerial position although they are interviewing next week for a permie replacement

Standard answer - there's no excuse for ending a contract early and without using whatever termination processes are in it.

Sneaky answer - family illness is always a good one. Big problems, need to be close to home, sure you''ll understand...

Commercial answer - put in a subbie for the duration.

Sensible answer - don't worry about it until you have the contract for the new gig in your hand. This is not the time to be playing silly buggers.

[DS23]

i've found terminal illness works quite well.

[Crusoe101]

Have an interview for gig closer to home but currently have 2 months left on my current contract. I have to stay away at present through the week and the long journeys are starting to get me down.

What is the best excuse any one has used to end a contract early?

This one is a managerial position although they are interviewing next week for a permie replacement