Reply to: Contract is making me ill

[Paralytic]

"Surly shagging" - is that a bit like normal shagging but you try to look a bit miserable whilst doing it?

Also see: dictionary definition of marriage.

[psychocandy]

Surly shagging your significant other would be better than gym? + skip lunch and go home early


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"Surly shagging" - is that a bit like normal shagging but you try to look a bit miserable whilst doing it?

[GhostofTarbera]

There are a few of these places around, unfortunately ,i have been struggling with one of them as well. Some managers honestly don’t care, they’ll burn you down, put you in the ground and still sleep like a baby at night.
What people haven’t mentioned is taking care of yourself: eat well(pick your food, spend extra on good restaurants... not local canteen or local pub, british pub food is crap). Do regular exercise, preferably start your day with it. F45 or any other gym that has team exercise... you’ll feel A lot better for the rest of the day. Spend enough time with your significant other. Also it might help to see the manager as a human being, he might be in a financial difficulty and dependant on his bonus, don’t know, he could be a greedy **** as well but, try to see his perspective. He is probably getting the pressure from somewhere.
For the role, go with your instinct but whatever happens don’t blame it on you. Sometimes you can be better at spotting a bad one upfront but most of the time they are a lot better than you at hiding the facts.

Surly shagging your significant other would be better than gym? + skip lunch and go home early


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[GigiBronz]

There are a few of these places around, unfortunately ,i have been struggling with one of them as well. Some managers honestly don’t care, they’ll burn you down, put you in the ground and still sleep like a baby at night.
What people haven’t mentioned is taking care of yourself: eat well(pick your food, spend extra on good restaurants... not local canteen or local pub, british pub food is crap). Do regular exercise, preferably start your day with it. F45 or any other gym that has team exercise... you’ll feel A lot better for the rest of the day. Spend enough time with your significant other. Also it might help to see the manager as a human being, he might be in a financial difficulty and dependant on his bonus, don’t know, he could be a greedy **** as well but, try to see his perspective. He is probably getting the pressure from somewhere.
For the role, go with your instinct but whatever happens don’t blame it on you. Sometimes you can be better at spotting a bad one upfront but most of the time they are a lot better than you at hiding the facts.

[LadyPenelope]

I've found when I've quit these kind of toxic environments, which most of us encounter from time to time, not only is it better for morale, but weirdly enough a really good contract seems to follow. Or maybe it just seems wonderful by contrast.

Quit a contract last summer after six weeks of bullying, rife at all levels in that organisation. (One of them used to brag about making people cry. Used to fantasise about mowing him down in my car. The other one was an elderly pervert. Ugh.)

Landed a great role after that, lasted a year.

Some places just aren't worth the toll on one's physical and mental health. When you leave this one, something better is bound to appear. Two months can definitely go on the CV.

[simes]

My current gig is a two-month contract. I am leaving at the end of it too. Work done.

They exist as part of the real world.

As above, don't feel afraid to market it as such on the CV.

[Hobosapien]

Come on, you can't be serious. "I'll tell your boss what I think about you...I'll just do it when I leave". That's what cowards do.

OP, since you've been professional and have got nothing to hide, you tell it to his face and to his manager while you're still there and then see what happens. The end result might be the same (you not working there anymore) but at least you've shown that contractors have got some balls and are not to be messed with.

I was thinking more along the lines of a letter via email as to why they were leaving showing evidence of the reasons if that is documented in email trails or elsewhere, which may get a better reaction than calling them out verbally that can easily be swept under the carpet by those in the room if they choose. Much harder if a summary report is emailed to the chain of command to show the incompetence or bad management. I've never felt the need to do this but the OP might for some kind of closure.

If going for a slagging match, which verbals are likely to head towards, don't forget the MF motto of 'if the words don't work then a punch might'. [This isn't advice, just a reference to a forum member (MF) with a reputation for not taking crap from crap permie managers. ]

[Paralytic]

I agree with others that your health is more important than any gig, but I'd also be tempted to push back on the additional work he's asking you to do.

"Where should this fit in priority compared to these other things i have on my plate <point at list of other activities>?"

Do your hours and leave - they don't give a damn about you, so don't go overboard trying to please him.

It sounds like you'll have to leave anyway, so might as well try pushing back in case it does change his approach.

[WTFH]

This is not defeat. Life isn’t about killing yourself.

It’s not a tactical withdrawal (something a few fathers should have done)

It’s an intelligent, long term business decision based on you wanting to have a life.




...Oh, and we’re not always that pleasant on here, don’t get your hopes up.

[CheeseSlice]

I really need to find a new contract first.

First, I agree with the others. Getting away from this situation is the best thing for you, especially now you're losing sleep, doubting yourself etc.
...But, if you really need to stay until you find another contract, then start looking now but do things to make life easier by limiting contact and interactions with this person.

These may not work in your case, but they did in mine when I was losing sleep due to a toxic worker who i was stuck with:

If you can hotdesk, work on a different floor, or even from home, then do it! Keep changing desks but be available for anything important. Find a space that works, but make him walk if he wants to talk to you. Be online and available to coworkers, etc.
Hotdesk close to senior people who are his peers or superiors where his behavior would be noticed. Close to HR would also be useful if close by.
Wear earbuds or a headset. Make it unclear whether or not you're on a conference call.
React slowly to interruptions (because you're extremely focused and busy!) and make it obvious. Tell him you'll come over in 15 mins when you've finished what you're in the middle of.. Then make it 30 mins (or never as he may have forgotten).

There may be others, but using tactics that do no wrong but create distance and ideally make him tread carefully around people who his career path will depend on (and he knows it) could help make your life easier.

[Old Greg]

Dig up all their outdoor green space and plough salt into the land.

[ladymuck]

Spoof his partner's SIM and send saucy texts to him followed by oops sorry they weren't meant for you

[ladymuck]

Find out which car is his and drive in in something far superior (beg/borrow/hire/steal if necessary) and park next to him, or block him in for preference.

[BR14]

alternatively?

or his cycling shoe, if he's one of those?

[BR14]

Leave. And tulip on the guy's desk before you go [emoji23]

alternatively?