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Previously on "Strange client restrictions"

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  • Wobblyheed
    replied
    Originally posted by sludgesurfer View Post
    I once did a 2 week stint witnessing a subsea umbilical being tested for a client at a manufacturing facility at the Walker quayside in Newcastle.

    I turned up on day one with my sandwiches and ate them in the canteen with the rest of the guys. That afternoon I refused to sign off the first test due to some inconsistencies in the test results. On day 2, there was a handwritten note on the canteen door saying something to the effect of "staff only". I ate my sandwiches outside.

    On day three, with the sun splitting the sky I looked up to try and figure out why it was "raining", only to realise the crane driver in one of the giant cranes was in fact urinating on me.
    WTF...you aren't from Sunderland are you?

    Leave a comment:


  • Peoplesoft bloke
    replied
    At one clientco we had to move into the "real" offices temporarily. I was given a training course on how to use the Herman Miller chair.

    The drone in the next dungeon was an HR permie who spent all day shrieking loudly into the phone about non-work related gossip.
    It was hard to concentrate but this was before working from home was viable.
    On day 2 a developer I worked with came over to my desk and we were quietly discussing some code - drone intervened and demanded that since we were "having a meeting" we had to go to a meeting room.

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladuk
    replied
    Originally posted by PCTNN View Post
    I went home that night, drank a glass of a £200 a bottle of whisky and fell asleep in my bed made of money.
    And that is how a contractor should roll!!

    Leave a comment:


  • PCTNN
    replied
    Originally posted by Peoplesoft bloke View Post
    I've worked at quite a lot of clientcos with allocated contractor areas - these were typically the offices with no windows where their permies refused to work, filled with broken office furniture, like that bloke in Office Space who was fired but kept coming to work.

    It was a way to vent their frustration at how much money we were getting paid.
    Yes, I've experience that in more than one occasion.

    At my current gig, I work in a dark and stinky open plan office on the ground floor. Old and dusty furniture, carpet must be 20 years old at least. Grey walls with pieces of blu tack up there since god knows when. There are not enough desks for us so we normally need to "squeeze in" 2 people per desk. I'm having to work using an old MacBook Pro with no external monitor, which I also offered to buy myself but got denied.

    One day I walked up to the first or second floor where the permanent staff were based. Was so bright I almost had to put sunglasses on and saw all the permies designers with new Mac's and not one but two external monitors. They had dedicated filing cabinets/lockers under their big desks.

    I felt baffled, and kept asking myself "how can they be so bad at their job, borderline incompetent actually, with all that shiny equipment and working in such a bright and lively office?"

    I went home that night, drank a glass of a £200 a bottle of whisky and fell asleep in my bed made of money.

    Leave a comment:


  • sludgesurfer
    replied
    Watersports aren't my thing.

    If I remember correctly I took an umbrella to work but the testing improved, relations became more cordial and deployment wasn't required. The umbilical was loaded onto a vessel without further drama.

    I think the French ultimately took them over. Main lesson learned was - just sign anything, it makes life easier.

    Leave a comment:


  • northernladuk
    replied
    Originally posted by simes View Post
    I think that, right there, has to be the worst contractor experience ever had, heard and related.

    Sludge, can I ask what happened on days three and onwards?
    He started spending a lot more time by the cranes because that's his bag.

    Leave a comment:


  • simes
    replied
    I think that, right there, has to be the worst contractor experience ever had, heard and related.

    Sludge, can I ask what happened on days three and onwards?

    Leave a comment:


  • LadyPenelope
    replied
    Originally posted by sludgesurfer View Post
    I once did a 2 week stint witnessing a subsea umbilical being tested for a client at a manufacturing facility at the Walker quayside in Newcastle.

    I turned up on day one with my sandwiches and ate them in the canteen with the rest of the guys. That afternoon I refused to sign off the first test due to some inconsistencies in the test results. On day 2, there was a handwritten note on the canteen door saying something to the effect of "staff only". I ate my sandwiches outside.

    On day three, with the sun splitting the sky I looked up to try and figure out why it was "raining", only to realise the crane driver in one of the giant cranes was in fact urinating on me.
    Oh good God

    Leave a comment:


  • sludgesurfer
    replied
    I once did a 2 week stint witnessing a subsea umbilical being tested for a client at a manufacturing facility at the Walker quayside in Newcastle.

    I turned up on day one with my sandwiches and ate them in the canteen with the rest of the guys. That afternoon I refused to sign off the first test due to some inconsistencies in the test results. On day 2, there was a handwritten note on the canteen door saying something to the effect of "staff only". I ate my sandwiches outside.

    On day three, with the sun splitting the sky I looked up to try and figure out why it was "raining", only to realise the crane driver in one of the giant cranes was in fact urinating on me.

    Leave a comment:


  • LadyPenelope
    replied
    Originally posted by Peoplesoft bloke View Post
    I've worked at quite a lot of clientcos with allocated contractor areas - these were typically the offices with no windows where their permies refused to work, filled with broken office furniture, like that bloke in Office Space who was fired but kept coming to work.

    It was a way to vent their frustration at how much money we were getting paid.
    I've never seen this in 15 years of contracting. What part of the country did this take place in, if you don't mind my asking?

    The only difference I experienced at 2 clients (1 mobile phone co, one academic publisher) was perms could work at home on Friday and contractors couldn't. Seemed a bit mean.

    Compare and contrast with latest role where perm staff allocated to the programme I was working on were expected to come into office on Friday by their line managers, 'to keep in touch with the team'. Whilst the programme policy was that Fridays were a wfh day, so the contractors all worked from home.

    Leave a comment:


  • westtester
    replied
    One site I worked at wouldn't let contractors use their car park. Didn't know this until the day I arrived and got bollocked by the receptionist for parking there.

    Leave a comment:


  • jk3838
    replied
    Originally posted by Hobosapien View Post
    HMRC only interested in employee related taxes not employee related rights.
    Oh I know, but I still think these little differences don't do any harm

    And I won't be here come April

    Leave a comment:


  • Hobosapien
    replied
    Originally posted by jk3838 View Post
    Personally I don't mind (in fact welcome) anything that sets me aside from the permies, even the small stuff

    e.g. Here we can't use the onsite canteen as it's subsidized

    Not only can I add it to my file of 'not an employee' (not major evidence obviously), but it also shows the permies that I don't work here.

    Yet from next April the client will still likely deem you inside IR35 and lump the canteen exclusion in with all the other employee benefits they aren't giving you.

    HMRC only interested in employee related taxes not employee related rights.

    Leave a comment:


  • jk3838
    replied
    Personally I don't mind (in fact welcome) anything that sets me aside from the permies, even the small stuff

    e.g. Here we can't use the onsite canteen as it's subsidized

    Not only can I add it to my file of 'not an employee' (not major evidence obviously), but it also shows the permies that I don't work here.

    Leave a comment:


  • BrilloPad
    replied
    Investors in Industry. 1991. Free breakfast and lunch. One tightwad I worked with ate several lunches then beans on toast in the evening!

    To be fair, he was permie.....

    Leave a comment:

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