Reply to: Mobbing/Bullying?

[SueEllen]

Well done to u for taking control back. having been bullied in my permie days twice I can appreciate what you must have felt like. Anyone can be bullied and I am 6ft 4 !! Good luck finding the next role and remember that u are good at your job

That's why you were picked on. As a tall individual if you used your physical strength you would be arrested.

[redman]

Well done to u for taking control back. having been bullied in my permie days twice I can appreciate what you must have felt like. Anyone can be bullied and I am 6ft 4 !! Good luck finding the next role and remember that u are good at your job

[psychocandy]

Coming late to this but fair play OP you did the right thing. Ignore the "man up" comments - some people can crack on and ignore the permies some cant' - we're all different. No amount of money is worth making yourself ill over.

I did it years ago working for a right a*se of a client manager. (although he was the same with permie staff). Ended up not working for a few months. Made the same stupid mistake a few years where I knew the permies were toxic (bit like your situation) but stayed because it was money and it was local. Bad idea.

If I've learnt anything over the years its that some people are just assholes and that you'll never win an argument if the permies dont like you.

Glad to say my last few gigs the permies/managers have been great.....

[SussexSeagull]

It is usually a sign that everything is right with an organisation. I can well believe she was a but upset at you leaving because she has now got no one to blame and you can't keep failing out with people and blame them so she has used a life up.

[Bluenose]

After this `meeting` I can't help but burst into tears - usually I am very composed but I do feel `cornered, targeted and dare I say it bullied`The next day the atmosphere within the team is odd, a few people are hovering around permie desk having a good old look at me and again I feel intimidated as its clear that gossip has been spread.

I noticed you left however I wrote the post anyway, it might help others!

Don't worry bullying (or attempted) happens to most of us at some point in our careers. And listen, when you are in that situation again, you will have more experience to handle the situation to hopefully produce a different outcome than a stack overflow.

The places where I see this happen are usually about to get transformed either by firing lots of people or doing a big tech. change programme and then...firing lots of people.

A toxic work environment usually means, crap company or, one that is sheltered from being a crap company by not being publicly listed which leads to the I.T team acting a bit like the Addams Family/Royston Vasey.

'This is a local I.T department for local people, are you local?'

The questions I would ask myself are:

a) whether the senior managers in charge of the place have a big change programme lined up or not

b) Are there new senior managers that have just been hired or about to be hired ?

c) Are there financial results and/or scandal and/or big fines which would lead to a or b in the short term

d) Are there external consultancies stalking the place doing assessments/audits ?

If none of the above are on the horizon then I would hand in your notice immediately. Loads of work out there at the minute, I would not give it a second thought.

Because I am in the transformation business I have to put up with this kind of crap all the time.

[mattfx]

As a new contractor, I'm still in the permie mindset of adding the cost of my day rate to the cost of the holiday to get the actual cost. I'm only just about getting over not being able to work bank holidays lol.

^ This!

[FrontEnder]

Sounds like the best option for you, well done on making the decision and good luck for the next one.
I would probably have stayed even to my own detriment just to annoy the person involved, I have no idea why I have to be so stubborn.
You never win a row with a perm tho, had a stand up row with one trying to get me to take over a presentation that his manager had given him to do about software I had never seen before. I started as calm as I could saying I would not feel comfortable doing that and after a few minutes he ended up shouting I had to find someone to do it then. At volume I advised him that nothing on this earth would make me do the presentation OR find some other mug to bully into it.
He complained to my client manager. It didn't affect the contract or extensions but I was fuming for days...
On the plus side, he never asked me to do a thing after that !

So you won the row then?

[lukemg]

Sounds like the best option for you, well done on making the decision and good luck for the next one.
I would probably have stayed even to my own detriment just to annoy the person involved, I have no idea why I have to be so stubborn.
You never win a row with a perm tho, had a stand up row with one trying to get me to take over a presentation that his manager had given him to do about software I had never seen before. I started as calm as I could saying I would not feel comfortable doing that and after a few minutes he ended up shouting I had to find someone to do it then. At volume I advised him that nothing on this earth would make me do the presentation OR find some other mug to bully into it.
He complained to my client manager. It didn't affect the contract or extensions but I was fuming for days...
On the plus side, he never asked me to do a thing after that !

[northernladyuk]

She won't push back cos she won.

In her eyes anyway.

Just wait until they turn her radiator on for the winter.

[original PM]

Thanks guys - it was a great feeling telling them to stuff it - I could see the surprise in her face when I told her I was leaving with immediate effect and wouldn't be working the notice due to the circumstances. No pushback. She got the message.

I agree - its easy to say carry on invoicing but being an individual with standards and morals I just did not agree with what was going on so I said

Anyway thanks for the helpful advice from some of you!

She won't push back cos she won.

In her eyes anyway.

[RustyWire]

Thanks guys - it was a great feeling telling them to stuff it - I could see the surprise in her face when I told her I was leaving with immediate effect and wouldn't be working the notice due to the circumstances. No pushback. She got the message.

I agree - its easy to say carry on invoicing but being an individual with standards and morals I just did not agree with what was going on so I said

Anyway thanks for the helpful advice from some of you!

And taking that action means that you were in control of the situation. Onwards and upwards!

[Northernercontractor]

Thanks guys - it was a great feeling telling them to stuff it - I could see the surprise in her face when I told her I was leaving with immediate effect and wouldn't be working the notice due to the circumstances. No pushback. She got the message.

I agree - its easy to say carry on invoicing but being an individual with standards and morals I just did not agree with what was going on so I said

Anyway thanks for the helpful advice from some of you!

[vwdan]

Lifes too short for this kind of bulltulip.

I think this is the main takeaway. All of the above posts are true enough and if you really can just not let it bother you then happy days - but we all have things that we just can't get over and no amount of "keep billing" will help. Being spoken to badly would be mine - I'll tell anyone to go **** themselves if they speak to or treat me like tulip.

Half the appeal of contracting is mobility for me - it's an amazing feeling of freedom to not be worried about the prospect of temporarily not having a gig. Though, oddly, I find that the sheer knowledge that I could walk is enough to make me smile and relax. I suppose it's like how even a 5* hotel would be awful if you weren't allowed to leave and how a prison isn't that scary if you can.

Anyway, onwards and upwards - hope the next is much better.

[SteelyDan]

Update: Handed in notice and walked out of the office and weight lifted off shoulders - feel amazing and it was for the best - toxic controlling environment and it just wasn't worth it. Whilst handing in notice manager couldn't believe that `permie girl` could do such a thing and suggested if I was being a bit sensitive

Decided to also speak with director on way out just to at least say thanks for the opportunity - he said that he would be having a word with those people and that I did nothing wrong and challenges were welcome and they needed someone like that! Oh well. Got an interview lined up next week so feeling good to be honest. Lifes too short for this kind of bulltulip.

Well done. Onwards & upwards, & no looking back. It's over & done with. Move on.

[Northernercontractor]

Update: Handed in notice and walked out of the office and weight lifted off shoulders - feel amazing and it was for the best - toxic controlling environment and it just wasn't worth it. Whilst handing in notice manager couldn't believe that `permie girl` could do such a thing and suggested if I was being a bit sensitive

Decided to also speak with director on way out just to at least say thanks for the opportunity - he said that he would be having a word with those people and that I did nothing wrong and challenges were welcome and they needed someone like that! Oh well. Got an interview lined up next week so feeling good to be honest. Lifes too short for this kind of bulltulip.