Reply to: the dreaded D word....

[BrilloPad]

Not that it helps, but I've never really got that point. If she's claiming she's accustomed to a certain lifestyle that he needs to maintain, shouldn't he be able to demand BJs and sandwhiches in perpetuum too?

And that what prostitutes and sandwich bars are for?

[fool]

>>well.... nothing

running the home can be a full time job. It will be interesting to see how that pans out for both of you:

You realising the ironing fairies dont exist and her getting off her a$$/justifying that she is your ironing fairy 'accustomed to a lifestyle' you provided and will expect to continue to do.
Have you asked her about getting a job/stopping paying for the creche?

Not that it helps, but I've never really got that point. If she's claiming she's accustomed to a certain lifestyle that he needs to maintain, shouldn't he be able to demand BJs and sandwhiches in perpetuum too?

With regards to maintaining the home though, honestly it can prohibit a full time job. However, you can also get help for £10 an hour; if you're relying on their spouce to do that stuff, you should probably consider getting help and setting her free to do something she'd prefer to be doing.

Sadly, this is no help to the OP, good luck bud.

[psychocandy]

Only for a fellow Welshie! I am still nasty to the English....

Cymru am byth!

Ha ha. I do an international commute every day so used to them! At least once a day I get asked if I shag sheep!

[BrilloPad]

Brillo is nice person shocker ;-)

Only for a fellow Welshie! I am still nasty to the English....

[psychocandy]

Make your mind up - does she work or not?

Shes been on long term sick for some time now. Officially, at the moment, she is employed but that is likely to be terminated due to ill health very shortly.

[psychocandy]

I bet what she spends is far less than a divorce!

I hope you both manage to get through things okay.

As NLUK says, best to think before you post. You don't want to go the way of Nigel Short or Tim Hunt do you?

Brillo is nice person shocker ;-)

True enough which is why I have no intention of getting divorced.

On a serious note, last few years we've both found out first hand how things change when one of you is too ill to work. It certainly causes issues and effects things as a contractor and in your relationship.

When you're working last thing you need is your partner laying it on you or you worrying if they're coping. And yes, shes got 25 years of the me doing the same, but she wasn't ill then so its hard for her when I say sorry Im stuck in work. I understand its hard for her to focus on the big picture that this is income when shes struggling to cope at home with a toddler so its understandable.

Current client is a fair trek every day so I'm home late normal days which can be problematic. BUT not as impossible as being away mon-fri would be. Also, when one of you suddenly has no income even if its only a couple £K a month (as will be the case soon with the mrs) it restricts your options of not taking an extension (unless you have huge warchest)

E.g. In my case, current gig is decent enough apart from the travel and we're just about managing. BUT, would love something closer or with some WFH. At the moment though probably can't risk not accepting an extension, being on the bench with zero income between both of us and then end up working away mon-fri (which would probably not work at all).

See PC can be serious after all :-)

[BrilloPad]

Make your mind up - does she work or not?

Good spot! Is this just another ms sockie?

[TheFaQQer]

Couple of kids, she doesnt work

And has her own job anyway.

Make your mind up - does she work or not?

[BrilloPad]

You mean sit on the sofa all day watching TV?

(Only joking - my mrs struggles at home with a long term illness - its not cool looking after a toddler as well. She could spent a bit less though ;-)

I bet what she spends is far less than a divorce!

I hope you both manage to get through things okay.

As NLUK says, best to think before you post. You don't want to go the way of Nigel Short or Tim Hunt do you?

[psychocandy]

Based on your first comment maybe the second comment is the right solution? Have you tried doing what she does? Even if she does take a poor money attitude, most women are not like that.

Most women are not that bad in divorce - until solicitors are involved.

You mean sit on the sofa all day watching TV?

(Only joking - my mrs struggles at home with a long term illness - its not cool looking after a toddler as well. She could spent a bit less though ;-)

[psychocandy]

Sometimes PC, just sometimes it is best not to bother posting your thoughts....

Actually NLUK I was planning to divorce my mrs then ask for your hand in marriage. Up for it?

[BrilloPad]

Sometimes PC, just sometimes it is best not to bother posting your thoughts....

Yes. Imagine what would happen if we all posted what we think of you.

[northernladuk]

Sometimes PC, just sometimes it is best not to bother posting your thoughts....

[BrilloPad]

Yeh right. My mrs is the same - think money grows on trees and is happy for someone else to go and do that part. All women are the same ;-)

Always thought about this.

If I ever got divorced I'd be FCUKed I reckon. Mrs P is most definitely a psycho I think lol and would easily be led down the path of getting the most of it - she'd probably do it to win even if it cost her money.....

Shes pretty good mind is Mrs P but she has her moments - as Im sure we all do.

But scary when you think about it. Couple of kids, she doesnt work, you'd end up living in a flat on your tod while she gets the house etc and possibly never seeing your kids. Not great.

Based on your first comment maybe the second comment is the right solution? Have you tried doing what she does? Even if she does take a poor money attitude, most women are not like that.

Most women are not that bad in divorce - until solicitors are involved.

[eek]

We don't know the reasons for the divorce.. Grindr might be more suitable... It's a modern world after all.

Grindr might be more suitable even if it wasn't a modern world....