Originally posted by RichardCranium
View Post
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
test please delete
Collapse
This is a sticky topic.
X
X
Collapse
-
-
ah. i see you did. working backwards...Originally posted by RichardCranium View PostThe removals people will be here at 8 a.m. so I suppose I had better go to bed (while we still have one!)
Gotta be up early and it's going to be a busy day.Comment
-
Comment
-
-
Originally posted by RichardCranium View PostI have a mains-powered, gas compression device which, ironically, works as a low-pressure generator at its input end, to which is connected a tubular device. This tubular mechanism is approximately 2 metres in length and further enhanced by a similarly lengthed rigid section which allows me to apply the mechanism at a safe distance from my person. The further end of this, shall we say, 'proboscis' has been mechanically constructed into a narrow opening. By negotiating the mechanism one can apply the very steep pressure gradient generated at the remote end of the device to the vicinity of the Alien Octoped; said monstrosity is then forced across the interface by high velocity molecular gas moving in a linear fashion across the trans-galactic invader and thereby applying greater force across their cross-section than the static friction they can generate against their immediate environment. This is achieved, I suspect, in the same way as the low pressure above an aeroplane's wing causes lift, however in this case it causes forward propulsion to the unwanted miscreant. The hideous creation of the devil is then propelled down through the tubular device which, thankfully, is of sufficiently robust construction to contain the shocked Alien Octoped. It is finally deposited in specially constructed containment chamber.
HTH
I suck them up with the vacuum cleaner and empty them into the bin.
Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?Comment
-
Sounds like a challengeOriginally posted by NickFitz View Post... but even VF would struggle to eat the gammon after the ribs

There's an excellent cider-house not far from us that does the biggest mixed grill known to man. Each serving represents the output of a single shift at the abattoir.Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?Comment
-
Ah yeah, I remember reading about a mysterious 13th episode.Originally posted by zeitghost View PostThat episode wasn't shown in the States, it's a special for the DVD apparently.
I'm catching up with The Wire as well, and once that's done I'll move on to True Blood.Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?Comment
-
-
<switches on the TPD good luck generator>Originally posted by FiveTimes View Postinterview in 5 mins ....
Go get 'em 5*!Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket?Comment
-
CV layed out, job spec layed out, questions written, phone on silent. DD1 has just made me a brew..Originally posted by voodooflux View Post<switches on the TPD good luck generator>
Go get 'em 5*!
11.30 the phone "should" ringComment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- How salary sacrifice pension changes will hit contractors Dec 24 07:48
- All the big IR35/employment status cases of 2025: ranked Today 08:55
- Why IT contractors are (understandably) fed up with recruitment agencies Yesterday 13:57
- Contractors, don’t fall foul of HMRC’s expenses rules this Christmas party season Dec 19 09:55
- A delay to the employment status consultation isn’t why an IR35 fix looks further out of reach Dec 18 08:22
- How asking a tech jobs agency basic questions got one IT contractor withdrawn Dec 17 07:21
- Are Home Office immigration policies sacrificing IT contractors for ‘cheap labour’? Dec 16 07:48
- Will 2026 see the return of the ‘Outside IR35’ contractor? Dec 15 07:51
- Contractors, Reeves’ dividends raid is disastrous. Act, but without acceptance Dec 12 07:10
- Why JSL indemnity clauses putting umbrella contractors on the hook could be a PR disaster Dec 11 07:36

Comment