test please delete

[Bear]

You are put in charge of managing the latest off-site entertainment for the permies' team-building event. You build a large perspex container, with a high-torque, high-speed belt sander as the floor for this container. Do you oil the walls, or give them half a chance of crawling out over the bodies of their rapidly-diminishing colleagues?

oil the walls - then switch the sander on (just to be sure)

[Bear]

The managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.

One of the Wolverines you had ready for the next team meeting

[Diver]

Originally Posted by realityhack View Post
The managing director is doing a floor walk around clientco, and is approaching your desk. Think fast - what item will you grab from your desk to maim him before the permies can intervene? An extra point for the funniest answer.

Stapler.

1. Pull his bottom lip over the top of his head.
2. Staple lip in place
3. Tell him to suck hard

[realityhack]

No oil, but place a large red button near the top than can be reached by climbing on the bodies of the fallen. It doesnt actually stop the sanding belt, just makes it run in the opposite direction. Not that there is anything to infomr them of this.

You discreetly attach one end of some high-tension wire to a permie's belt, do you attach the other to:

a) A passing police car
b) An industrial mangle
c) A rabid bear
d) The London Eye
e) A 747 awaiting take-off
f) Other, please state.

[Bear]

You discreetly attach one end of some high-tension wire to a permie's belt, do you attach the other to:


c) A rabid bear

[Diver]

You discreetly attach one end of some high-tension wire to a permie's belt, do you attach the other to:

a) A passing police car
b) An industrial mangle
c) A rabid bear
d) The London Eye
e) A 747 awaiting take-off
f) Other, please state.

f. attach other end to a contractor with a firm job offer 6 blocks away

[DaveB]

You discreetly attach one end of some high-tension wire to a permie's belt, do you attach the other to:

a) A passing police car
b) An industrial mangle
c) A rabid bear
d) The London Eye
e) A 747 awaiting take-off
f) Other, please state.

F) The business end of a Trebuchet.

[realityhack]

What is the best way to deal with an annoying junior developer asking you stupid questions every 5 min? Is it:

a) Politely and patiently help them
b) Tell them to find it out for themselves, or they'll never learn
c) Stab them 60 times and cut off their head with a rusty hunter's knife, or
d) Other, please state.

[voodooflux]

What is the best way to deal with an annoying junior developer asking you stupid questions every 5 min?

D) Give them stupid answers to their stupid questions.

[DaveB]

What is the best way to deal with an annoying junior developer asking you stupid questions every 5 min? Is it:

a) Politely and patiently help them
b) Tell them to find it out for themselves, or they'll never learn
c) Stab them 60 times and cut off their head with a rusty hunter's knife, or
d) Other, please state.

d) Leave several hundred megabytes of hot girl on girl on shetland pony porn in his home drive and make a discreet call to HR. It wouldnt hurt to suggest that he may have mentioned a hot date at the gymkana while you were chatting by the water cooler.