test please delete

[DS23]

location is... well i can't tell you the ho - that would be a dead give away as to the client. but the initial work will be uk based with odd days of workshop/training/support around europe.

[TheFaQQer]

this is the first proper job contact i've had from my website.

Nice - all I get from mine is a string of emails asking me "how do I do....." rather than "we'd like to pay you to do....."

Although some of my training work comes through the website.

[TheFaQQer]

location is... well i can't tell you the ho - that would be a dead give away as to the client. but the initial work will be uk based with odd days of workshop/training/support around europe.

Ah - Nokia then.

[DS23]

i haven't got to the rate yet. i was planning on going for a slightly higher end oracle apps rate since this will still be less than that rate plus agency fee but if the business have already said yes maybe i should whack it right up...

[DS23]

Nice - all I get from mine is a string of emails asking me "how do I do....." rather than "we'd like to pay you to do....."

Although some of my training work comes through the website.

i have had a few spam mails and a couple of us agency requests but nada until this though tbh i wasn't really expecting much. how much traffic do you get?

[DS23]

Ah - Nokia then.

interestingly there are quite a few potential clients of mine in finland. so if it was there it might not be nokia.

[BrowneIssue]

The Most Mentalist Support Call

I has one support call which was the case of "the dog that never barked". The user took huge convincing that numbers wre right...

I used to hold the World Record for The Most Mentalist Support Call but that was a while ago and there have been better ones since.

First 5 minutes - a numpty calls the helpdesk to say his spreadsheet doesn't work. It is explained the helpdesk doesn't fix spreadsheets, the user explains it is the software that is broken.

Next ten minutes - the helpdesk manager explains the spreadsheet software is unlikely to be broken but takes details. Helpdesk manager puts his phone on mute, wets his trousers laughing and has to pass the call to his best support bod to take over.

Next 15 minutes - best support bod takes details. Best support bod tries to explain why he believes the spreadsheet software is working correctly. Best support bod starts losing his temper.

Most TLC-aware support bod fetches me. She says it sounds like a bug in SuperCalc which makes it a programming problem and could I talk to the user.

I take the call. User explains the problem. I put the phone on mute "while I look something up" and fall on the floor laughing.

In summary, the very exasperated and frustrated user said:

"I have a number. When I take away a negative amount the original number gets bigger. That's wrong."

I said "Subtracting a negative makes a positive".

He lost it and went mentalist - he had been told this too many times.

While he calmed down enough to listen to me I had a flashback from when I was about 5.

I got him to draw a horizontal line 30 cm wide. At the mid point write '0' and for every cm to the right, go up by one. I then went through a couple of simple additions and subtractions with him, using the line.

I then got him to go to the left from -1 down to -10. I then talked him through some more additions and subtractions.

It took me about an hour minutes to do this. And so, over the phone, I taught the user how to do simple arithmetic to the point where he could see that subtracting a negative number made the original bigger, not smaller.

The entire helpdesk team had downed tools to witness this call. When I had finished, I got a huge round of applause.

But ... the best was to come.

I implemented the helpdesk software and specified their processes. I'm a good process boy and so followed them. I finished the call by taking all the details necessary to log the call:


Name......: A Numpty
Department: Finance
Job Title.: Management Accountant

[TheFaQQer]

i have had a few spam mails and a couple of us agency requests but nada until this though tbh i wasn't really expecting much. how much traffic do you get?

Not sure, to be honest.

1000 hits a month or so, maybe a bit more - haven't checked recently.

I run a support forum for an Oracle technology there too, which has 1500 members, so there are a fair few hits from there.

[DS23]

management accountant..

[TheFaQQer]

location is... well i can't tell you the ho - that would be a dead give away as to the client. but the initial work will be uk based with odd days of workshop/training/support around europe.

Hmmmm - Oracle implementation, where if you told me the location we'd be able to guess the organization.

And they only need ad-hoc work every now and then.

So - sounds like an established system.

Which makes me think of two UK possibilities with a European requirement.

- Walkers
- Vodafone