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Having crashed out very late (even by my standards) after Solstice sunrise, I'd hardly been asleep any time before I was woken (at 8am) by repeated banging on the front door and ringing of my doorbell.
Assuming that this was the postman trying to deliver the Amazon order I'd been expecting, I leapt out of bed, threw on jeans and a t-shirt and, half asleep, scuttled downstairs to the front door where somebody in a hi-vis jacket could be seen through the glass.
Upon opening the door I found that the place on his jacket where one might have expected to see the Royal Mail logo instead said "Police", and that there were two more chaps similarly attired stood just out of view of the door
"Morning, we just need to check a couple of flats - which one are you?"
"x..." I replied, still trying to get my head together in the face of this unexpected visitation.
"Ah, not yours then, if we can just..." <walk past me into hall> "...which one's y? This one is it?" <starts hammering repeatedly on flat door> "Thanks very much, much appreciated!"
Not really looking forward to meeting my neighbours in the hall now...
Although I don't think they found anybody in - for all I know the guy's moved. Not sure which other flat they were trying - I didn't hear them come upstairs
I've just finished watching that Channel 4 programme about sandwiches broadcast on Monday night.
I'll stick with my bacon butties freshly made at the greasy spoon or the cob shop, thank you very much.
I've always assumed that such things as Pret à Manger or M&S sandwiches were a deep and evil con being perpetrated by capitalist swine, seeking to eradicate any remembrance of good food from our minds so they can sell us pigs' rectums concealed by mayonnaise. It seems I was correct.
If the food was worth eating, they'd sell a sandwich that wasn't slathered in mayonnaise or corrupted by salad. The fact that none of them sells a simple ham sandwich (or chicken, or beef) without feeling the need to smear garbage all over it has, to my mind, always been a giveaway - if the food is that good, how come I can't get ham on bread?
They obviously have something to hide, and they hide it with mayonnaise, salad, and similar gunk. To hell with the lot of them.
Mum: "Did I tell you about me going to hospital?"
Me: "Was that for those tests on your diabetes?"
Mum: "No, this was a week ago Sunday when we were up North - I had to be rushed to hospital in an ambulance."
This was after she'd spent ten minutes updating me on the various mundane details of other family members' lives
It turned out to be some kind of gastric problem... she was able to force them to let her out that night, and she's on the mend
When she was in there the doctor inspected the cardiograph and reassured her that it didn't seem to be a cardiac problem:
Mum: "I used to be a cardiographer in my twenties."
Doctor: "Oh, really? Would you like to have a look?" <turns cardiograph to face her>
Mum: <inspects screen and points:> "That inverted-T anomaly on lead 3 - you needn't worry about that, I've had that since I was twenty."
Startled doctor does double take at screen, thanks her and adds the information to her notes
Interestingly, I have an inverted-T and was told not to worry...
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