test please delete

[BrilloPad]

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
> when you make it again.

[NickFitz]

BrilloPad
Super poster




Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,400

4400 posts

Splendid!

[BrilloPad]

By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

[BrowneIssue]

These are phrases of wisdom

HTH

Just be glad CM's not here. She is an anti-fan of cut 'n' pasted gags in TPD.

[BrilloPad]

Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

[BrilloPad]

Just be glad CM's not here. She is an anti-fan of cut 'n' pasted gags in TPD.

I know. And she was in a foul mood last night - I do hope she is feeling better.

[BrilloPad]

Today, 22:24 #59795
BrilloPad
Super poster




Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,405

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by BrowneIssue
Just be glad CM's not here. She is an anti-fan of cut 'n' pasted gags in TPD.


I know. And she was in a foul mood last night - I do hope she is feeling better.


pali

[BrilloPad]

Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real
> world.

[BrilloPad]

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never
> cease to be amused.

[BrilloPad]

Haynes Manual into English

Haynes: "This is a snug fit"
Translation: "Beat repeatedly with hammer"

Haynes: "Rotate anticlockwise"
Translation: "Clamp with molegrips, beat handle repeatedly with hammer"

Haynes: "Pry"
Translation: "Hammer screwdriver into"

Haynes: "Undo"
Translation: "Locate aged can of WD40. Hammer can to increase pressure.
Squirt everywhere"

Haynes: "Retain tiny spring"
Translation: "What the fluck was that? It nearly had my eye out!"

Haynes: "Apply moderate heat"
Translation: "Placing your mouth near it and huffing is not moderate heat"

Haynes: "Press and rotate to remove lamp"
Translation: "Smash glass. Dig out bayonet with pliers"

Haynes: "Carefully"
Translation: "You are about to cut yourself badly"

Haynes: "Lightly"
Translation: "Start off gently, build up pressure until veins are
standing proud of your forehead. Reread the manual because what you are
doing can in no way be described as 'lightly'"

Haynes: "Weekly checks"
Translation: "If it ain't broken, don't fix it"

Haynes: "Routine maintenance"
Translation: "If it ain't broken, it sure as hell is about to be"

Haynes: "Compress"
Translation: "Squeeze with all your might, club with wrench, jump upon,
back car over, throw at garage wall, then search for battered component in
darkest corner of garage while cussing repeatedly under breath"

Haynes: "Inspect"
Translation: "Squint really hard, pretending you know exactly what you are
looking at. Declare in a loud, knowing voice, "Just as I thought. It's
going to need a new one"

Haynes: "Retaining nut"
Translation: "The hexagonal metal block you just shaved irreparably with
an imperial size spanner"

Haynes: "Using a suitable drift"
Translation: "A paving slab will suffice"

Haynes: "Get an assistant"
Translation: "Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know"

Haynes: "Turning the engine will be much easier with the plugs removed"
Translation: "Turning the engine will be much harder, and will probably be
accompanied by some distressing noises you've never heard before. Once
that panicky, clenched feeling in your stomach has subsided, continue as
if everything is fine"

Haynes: "Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal"
Translation: "Discard leftover screws and washers"

Haynes: "Prise away plastic locating pegs"
Translation: "Bend back and forth repeatedly until it snaps"

Haynes: "Everyday toolkit"
Translation: "Ensure you have your RAC membership card handy and have
charged your mobile phone"