NO
CONSECUTIVE
POSTS!
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NO
CONSECUTIVE
POSTS!
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> Late at night this guy runs into a pub and demands a glass of water from
> the landlord. The guy drinks it in one gulp then asks for a second glass.
> Six pints later, and he has recovered enough to speak. "Thanks, "he
> croaks . "That's one hell of a thirst you've got," says the landlord.
>
> The guy says: "Any man would be as bad if they'd just had sex with the
> woman in my car. She's insatiable. She wants me to go right back out there
> and do it all again, but I can't." "Where's your car?" the landlord asks.
> "At the roadside," the guy gasps.
>
> "Tell you what," says the landlord, "you watch the bar for me while I nip
> out and take your place." "Be my guest," the guy says. So the landlord
> goes outside and gets in the car. It's totally dark, so the woman doesn't
> realize she's with a different man. And they get right down to it,
> humping away.
>
> Five minutes later there's a knock on the window. It's a cop, and he
> shines his flashlight on the naked couple. "What's going on here?" he
> asks. "It's all right, officer," explains the landlord, "She's my wife."
> The officer replies apologetically, "Oh, sorry sir, I didn't realize."
>
> Looking at the woman the landlord says, "Neither did I till you switched
> on that damned light."Comment
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aaahhh - just saw the consecutive atw posts...
nice irony!
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> There were three blokes talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about
> the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke
> remains quiet.
>
> After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says "Well, what
> about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?"
>
> The third fellow says "I'll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to
> me on her hands and knees."
>
> The first two blokes where amazed.
>
> "What happened then?" they asked.
>
> "She said 'GET OUT FROM UNDER THE BED AND FIGHT LIKE A MAN!'."Comment
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DS23 7,027
zeitghost 5,777
TheFaQQer 5,604
Diver 4,645
cailin maith 4,317
BrowneIssue 3,399
NickFitz 3,130
Fortune Green 2,204
FiveTimes 2,080
Bear 1,968
BrilloPad 1,957
11 to get Bear...Comment
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> An Irishman goes into a shop and buys a chainsaw. Two weeks later he takes
> it back.
>
> "I bought this chainsaw two weeks ago. You said it would chop down fifty
> trees an hour and I can only manage two."
>
> "Well, lets take a look at it then." says the shop assistant.
>
> He takes the chainsaw and starts it up.
>
> BRRRRRBRRRRBRR!
>
> "Christ!" says the Irishman, "What's that noise?"Comment
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what else could you be doing now that would be more fun?Originally posted by zeitghostFrightening isn't it?
Such a futile waste of Lizard life...
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> There was an expectant father who had spent quite some time waiting for
> the offspring to arrive at his in-laws place. He was absolutely positive
> that his wife was going to present him with a boy and wouldn't hear of
> anything else.
>
> As his time off work had gone into the red, he told his father-in-law,
> "When my son arrives, do not phone the office and say that I have become a
> father of a boy otherwise I'll have to shell out for a lot for parties,
> etc. Just tell me that the clock has arrived. This will be our code for
> the arrival of my son."
>
> The offspring does arrive one day, but it's a daughter. The father-in-law
> now thinks, "If I tell him that the clock has not arrived, he'll
> misunderstand that some thing has happened to the baby and come rushing
> over."
>
> So he sends the message,
>
> "The clock has arrived, but the pendulum is missing."Comment
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