test please delete

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:21

buzzcocks even. that Simon is a 2@

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:22

At least Bill Bailey is back

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:24

Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post

buzznoddys even. that Simon is a 2@

**** is replaced with noddy! wow. What is a male chicken again. Not Rooster. 4 letters. bgin with c.

**TheFaQQer** · 13 December 2007, 21:24

Originally posted by zeitghost

BTVS.

Faith...

Faith...

Bumpy

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:29

Excuses for being late for work

"I keep forgetting which side of the International Date Line you're on."
"We're open on Tuesdays?"
"It took this long to get the blood alcohol level down to the legal driving limit."
"I had to take extra time this morning to wrestle with overwhelming aggressive impulses by reassuring myself that nothing would happen today that would push me over the edge."
"My proctologist got stuck."
"I'm late because I was on the phone trying to get your lousy shipping department to send the company's office supplies directly to the winner of my eBay auction."
"Hey, time becomes meaningless when you're as strung out on crystal meth as I am."
"Sorry, sir. I overslept and dreamt I had a dead-end job, a windowless office and a humourless baboon for a boss."
"Kylie refused to untie me."
"On the second Tuesday of the month, the Campho- Phenique man comes by to fill the drum for my home supply of industrial-strength anti- canker sore gel."
"It took me a little longer than normal to hide my disdain this morning... Sir."
"My dog ate my presentation, sir. And by 'my dog' I mean your wife, and by 'ate my presentation' I mean 'was bonking me".

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:31

Home remedies that really do work!!

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat and ~ presto! ~ the blockage will be almost
instantly removed.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the missus about lifting the toilet seat by simply
peeing in the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a
while, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from
rolling over and going back to sleep when you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you will
be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will
forget about the toothache.

In life, remember that you need only two tools: WD-40, and duct tape.

If it doesn't move and it should, use the WD-40.

If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

**TheFaQQer** · 13 December 2007, 21:31

Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post

I thought ElectricChair got banned for counting in general.

No - he got banned for being annoying, and counting.

Keep going, and you too might be ferretted out

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:32

There was this fish, and this fish was watching a fly, the fish wanted the
fly to drop six inches so he could jump and eat it.
There was a bear on the shore, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so the
fish would jump and the bear could swipe the fish for lunch.

There was a hunter in the woods, he wanted the fly to drop six inches so
the fish would jump, the bear would swipe and the fish and come out into
plain view.

There was a mouse eyeing the hunters sandwich, he wanted the fly to drop
six inches so the fish would jump, the bear would move into plain view,
the hunter would shoot the bear then the hunter would go get the bear and
the mouse could get the sandwich.

There was a cat waiting for the fly to drop six inches so the fish would
jump, the bear would move into plain view, the hunter would shoot the bear
and for the mouse to go for the sandwich.

So the fly drops six inches, the fish jumps in the air, the bear catches
the fish, the hunter shoots the bear and the mouse swipes the sandwich.
The blast from the hunters gun startled the cat, which jumped into the
river.

The moral of the story is - when the fly drops six inches the pussy gets wet.

**TheFaQQer** · 13 December 2007, 21:32

Originally posted by BrilloPad View Post

So why did you start this thread?

'Cos he couldn't get a poll to work.

**BrilloPad** · 13 December 2007, 21:33

Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post

No - he got banned for being annoying, and counting.

Keep going, and you too might be ferretted out

If being annoying was a bannable offence there would only be a few left here...

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