test please delete

[NickFitz]

Apples give me hiccups.

But if I have hiccups and eat an apple, they stop.

There is probably a very good reason for that.

Apples Just Work

[NickFitz]

Those of us of northern and central European extraction are genetically disposed (disposed? That's the wrong word, Shirley?) to drinking beer.

Those of our predecessors that declined the new-fangled brewed-grain-drink continued to get parasites and diseases from drinking untreated water, had few children and either died out or become weak and rare.

Those that took to strict adherence to the new (new as in neolithic) philosophy of "don't drink the water, fish fornicate in it" would have been fitter (all those B vitamins) and protected from disease and parasites.

Ergo, those that naturally desire beer were dominant.

We are their ancestors.

It is not our fault we like beer. We are just genetically dis-thingied that way. We are more evolved, that's what it is.

In southern Europe it is ditto but for wine.

Indeed (although I think you meant "We are their descendants" in the ante-penultimate paragraph).

I remember listening to something on Radio 4 sometime in the past twenty or thirty years about the account books of a mediaeval monastery wherein it was stated that every monk was given something like twelve pints of beer a day

Of course, the point was that this was "small beer": its ABV was so low that it was scarcely better than a can of shandy from the chippy in the alcohol stakes; but the brewing process was as good as you could get for purifying water.

People weren't as permanently pissed in the Middle Ages as one might expect from a casual reading of contemporaneous accounts

[NickFitz]

As my dad says... "You can't take it with you. So I ain't going."

[Gonzo]

Looks like there was a bit more tpd effort yesterday.

I am going in .....

[NickFitz]

Looks like there was a bit more tpd effort yesterday.

I am going in .....

Not just TPD - CUK made the million post mark

Courtesy of TPD, of course

[Gonzo]

I regularly see young people walking out of the FMB bar, straight into the (three-lane) road, without looking anywhere because they're engrossed by a conversation in which they are participating on their mobile telephonic apparatus. Given that it's a busy road, the screeching of brakes is a given; yet they never even seem to notice that they've escaped death by inches

Sadly that is easily done.

When I was at university a young female student was killed walking out of a pub here straight into the path of a vehicle travelling up the A11.

I see from the satellite picture that the grim tower blocks that I spent one year of my student life living in have been demolished.

I was nearly hit by a car walking out of a pub a couple of years later here. The door to the pub opened onto a narrow pavement next to a crossroads. I walked out the door, across the pavement and into the path of an oncoming car that was not slowing down because the traffic lights were in its favour.

I remember hearing the sound of the car horn and then a mate grabbing me by the collar and pulling me out of the way just in time.

I was going to pose the question of why people build pubs next to such busy roads but I see from the google streetview that The Green Man has now been demolished.

It seems that the buildings in which I spent my youth are all being demolished. What does that say?

[Gonzo]

Right, I need some alcoholic fortification.

In one hour's time the soccer match will begin. A win for New Zealand will see them into the next World Cup for the first time since 1982.

Everyone is very excited but they are unfamiliar with the sport and are expecting me to explain what is going on.

[Gonzo]

Everyone is very excited but they are unfamiliar with the sport and are expecting me to explain what is going on.

I should clarify that it is my New Zealand relatives that are expecting me to explain, not the entire country.

[Gonzo]

At half time New Zealand are 1-0 up.

The first leg was a nil-nil draw. The two games must produce an overall result so a win for NZ puts them through to the world cup, a win for Bahrain puts them through to the world cup. A score draw puts Bahrain through to the world cup.

A nil-nil draw would have required extra time and/or penalties but that does not matter now.

[Gonzo]

At full time the score was still 1-0 so New Zealand will be in the World Cup for the first time since 1982.

They will be absolutely slaughtered when they face the big boys because the quality of football is not competitive, but they have a few months of dreaming to do in the meantime.