evening all.
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HOW TO GET A LIFE
It's never easy to overcome innate nerdity, a serious Internet addiction, or a hard-core computer gaming habit, but trying usually isn't as painful as kidney stones.
Difficulty Level: Hard
Time Required: Years
Here's How:
Let go of the mouse.
Turn off the computer.
Play a game of solitaire with a real deck of cards.
Eat something other than taco chips.
Fart without recording it and putting it up your Web page.
Get some sleep in bed rather than on your keyboard.
Next time you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, don't tell everyone on your ICQ list about it.
Open a window without turning your computer back on (yes, it is possible).
Very gradually expose your eyes to increasingly bright light so as to avoid damage or permanent sun blindness.
When you feel prepared for a massive dose of non-CRT radiation, put on welding goggles and go outside.
If you see someone, say "Hi" to them instead of trying to make the modem connect sound.
Visit a friend that you haven't spoken to in years because they don't have an email address.
Have ".com" officially removed from behind your name.
Go on a date with someone you didn't meet in a chat room.Confusion is a natural state of beingComment
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Drug dealers and software developers - a comparison
Drug Dealers
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* Refer to their clients as "users".
* "The first one's free!"
* Have important Asian connections.
* Strange jargon:
"Stick"
"Rock"
"Wrap"
"E"
"Stash"
"Drive-by"
"Hit (LSD)"
"Source"
"The Pigs"
* Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
* Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
* Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent product.
* Often seen in the company of pimps, hustlers and low-lifes
* When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
* A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
* Product causes unhealthy addictions.
* Do your job well and you can sleep with sexy movie stars who depend on you.
Software Developers
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* Refer to their clients as "users".
* "Download a free trial version..."
* Have important Asian connections.
* Strange jargon: "SCSI"
"RTFM"
"Packet"
"C"
"Cache"
"CTRL ALT DEL"
"Hit (WWW)"
"Source-code"
"Microsoft"
* Realize that there's tons of cash in the 14- to 25-year-old market.
* Clients really like your stuff when it works.When it doesn't work they want to kill you.
* Job is assisted by the industry's producing newer, more potent products.
* Often seen in the company of marketing people, venture capitalists and fund managers.
* When things go wrong, a "fix" is just a phone call away, but may be expensive
* A lot of people are getting rich while still teenagers.
* DOOM, Quake, SimCity, Duke Nukem 3D...
* Damn! DAMN!!!Confusion is a natural state of beingComment
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Morning all
Hi Ho Hi Ho and all that
Really enjoying myself on site this week. They say a change is as good as a rest
Not a computer in sight for over a week, except for the ones in the home office of course.
The office and It side are running smoothly in my absence, so I think my IT staff have finally made me redundant (great ) Revenue is up and I have several new clients so I think I will stay on site for another week before returning to the drudgery
Well have to drop wifey off to her keyboard bashing now so see you laterConfusion is a natural state of beingComment
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