Classic!

[voodooflux]

Where's CM gone with the paddle?

I saw her heading off upstairs with it...

< hears "thwack" sounds and screams from upstairs >

Yep, she's upstairs.

[voodooflux]

So why are we all here again?

That's a good question. I was just walking past earlier and heard the party kicking off - is it someone's Birthday?

[Rookie]

That's a good question. I was just walking past earlier and heard the party kicking off - is it someone's Birthday?

Nope. It's Friday and its nearly 4pm and probably like me you are all very bored and looking forward to the first pint in the pub.

[norrahe]

I thought Sally Anne was going to do a few rounds with number 9, or was that him I saw runin out of the house when I came in?

[Ravello]

So why are we all here again?

Number9 invited us but then had to leave...

[realityhack]

Whew - sorry about that folks...

Went down to the offie, but on my way there I noticed an open door in the side of a nondescript brick wall - you know, just past the betting shop near Turners Lane. Anyway - I had a peek through it, and there was a flight of stone steps leading down into some sort of underground cavern, which was dimly candlelit.

Obviously, having had a few, I decided to venture a little further - and came to this set of railings - like an old mineshaft railway, with a coal hopper parked up and locked fast to the railings.

Looking further down the tunnel, I could see the stone floor of the tunnel drop away, and the railings continue into the darkness. I was sure I could hear music, and distant voices... So, what the hell, I decided to jump into the coal hopper and release the brake.

As it gathered momentum, soon I was racing through a series of underground tunnels, with the darkness occasionally broken by flashes of torchlight below. There was a small settlement down here, it seemed - I could just about make out the outlines of buildings, in the flickering shadows below.

The hopper gathered pace, and soon I was hurtling down a steep incline - quite afraid and hanging on for dear life - metal screeching against metal, clattering, juddering - once or twice I thought the hopper would derail and slam me into the stone walls... and so it seemed to go on forever, until...

The incline levelled out, the hopper wearily groaned to a slow crawl, rumbling to a stop - my heart racing... and then the dark tunnel gave way to a brightly lit open space... as I came to a halt.

I could hear voices - who would be down here? - I thought. As my eyes grew accustomed to the light, a quaint little villagescape began to take shape - small huts, barrows, a market stall, a tavern - what looked like a well and the crumbled remains of a statue on horseback in the centre of a little village square.

Voices - and then movement. I saw people emerge from the shadows and doorways around. I say people - but these were more like the late Tolkien's hobbits, short in stature, large unwieldy feet, hairy, stubby, stunted creatures - but with a human-like form and expression.

They moved ponderously - furtive, edgy, exchanging sideways glances and whispering. They moved closer, and soon they were around me.

A direct approach - I thought. In for a penny, in for a pound. So I got to my feet, still a little shaky (Cojak's heels didn't help), and brushed myself off. Towering head and shoulders above them - I smiled, and said "What a rush! So, who knows where I can get 20 lights and a bottle of Absinthe around here then?'

Turns out they brew their own - it glows in the dark, see - lethal. Tastes a bit like homegrown Normandy Calvados with a hint of apricot. Quite the little boozers they are - and although they had only a rudimentary grasp of English they were a funny bunch - one of them showed me a cocktail that involves snorting this homebrew and lighting it, blowing fire out like a dragon.

They need to do this regularly - I gathered - as they're a hairy bunch and there's nothing like it for clearing the sinuses. Oh - and they were fascinated by your shoes, Cojak. Thought they made perfect novelty goblets.

Anyway - to cut a long story short, they showed me an old mineshaft with a rack & pulley lift to the surface, and I swapped the shoes for 12 bottles of this gargleblaster juice and some strange-looking snacks, said my farewells before the females (?) began to look too attractive, and surfaced through a hatch round the back of the Spar.

Sorry I'm late and all... hey - is that a karaoke machine? Excellent!

[cailin maith]

Where's CM gone with the paddle?

I saw her heading off upstairs with it...

< hears "thwack" sounds and screams from upstairs >

Yep, she's upstairs.

Number9 invited us but then had to leave...

Has he been banned yet?

[voodooflux]

Nope. It's Friday and its nearly 4pm and probably like me you are all very bored and looking forward to the first pint in the pub.

from the fridge

Used my monthly "pass out" last weekend

[cailin maith]

Anyway - to cut a long story short, they showed me an old mineshaft with a rack & pulley lift to the surface, and I swapped the shoes for 12 bottles of this gargleblaster juice and some strange-looking snacks, said my farewells before the females (?) began to look too attractive, and surfaced through a hatch round the back of the Spar.

Sorry I'm late and all... hey - is that a karaoke machine? Excellent!

RH - are you on drugs? Swapped the shoes???

[Ravello]

Whew - sorry about that folks...

<snip>

Sorry I'm late and all... hey - is that a karaoke machine? Excellent!

You got lost, didn't you?