• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

How about a bit of Chuck Norris

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    How about a bit of Chuck Norris

    Come on the man's a god!
    • If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you.
    • There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
    • Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
    • Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
    • Chuck Norris can eat just one Lay's potato chip.
    • Chuck Norris is suing Myspace for taking the name of what he calls everything around you.
    • Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
    • Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    #2
    If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death
    Cooking doesn't get tougher than this.

    Comment


      #3
      Chuck Norris slams revolving doors

      Comment


        #4
        Originally posted by williamdavis View Post
        Come on the man's a god!
        Tw@t

        But since we are going downhill anyway.
        • Chuck Norris is part Cherokee. Not by birth, he ate a fsking indian.

          There is no chin under Chuck Norris's beard, just another fist.

          Chuck Norris doesnt go hunting, hunting implies failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

          There is no such thing as survival of the fittest, just the animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
        "Being nice costs nothing and sometimes gets you extra bacon" - Pondlife.

        Comment


          #5
          Or you could just read them all off Google and save the strain on your poor CTRL, C & V keys.
          Originally posted by MaryPoppins
          I'd still not breastfeed a nazi
          Originally posted by vetran
          Urine is quite nourishing

          Comment


            #6
            Originally posted by d000hg View Post
            Or you could just read them all off Google and save the strain on your poor CTRL, C & V keys.
            What Would Chuck Norris Do?

            Comment


              #7
              Originally posted by Churchill View Post
              What Would Chuck Norris Do?
              Chuck Norris's keyboard doesn't have a CTRL. Chuck Norris is always in control.
              Cooking doesn't get tougher than this.

              Comment


                #8
                Originally posted by d000hg View Post
                Or you could just read them all off Google and save the strain on your poor CTRL, C & V keys.
                but that wouldn't be as much fun.

                Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
                Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
                Chuck Norris doesn't see dead people. He makes people dead.
                Last edited by williamdavis; 16 July 2008, 09:22.

                Comment


                  #9
                  chuck

                  Hi.

                  Did u know...

                  Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer.

                  Unfortunately he has never cried.

                  If only.....

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Originally posted by d000hg View Post
                    Or you could just read them all off Google and save the strain on your poor CTRL, C & V keys.
                    Originally posted by Churchill View Post
                    What Would Chuck Norris Do?
                    Chuck would use right click copy and paste hence the not needing the ctrl.

                    Comment

                    Working...
                    X