Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Scientists warn that humanity could run out of things to call 'racist within as little to 6 weeks!

Experts agree

[vetran]

Meeting both Johnson and Truss on the same day would be enough to kill anyone.

[vetran]

I am reading a horror story in Braille. It's pretty cool but something bad is about to happen, I can feel it.

[vetran]

Some homeless person tried selling me a magazine today on the street.

Poor guy has some big issues.

[vetran]

A small boy named Bruce lived in a suburb of Sydney, Australia.
None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him, "You?re driving me mad Bruce".
One day Bruce's mum came to school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mum honestly, that her son was simply a disaster, getting very low marks, and never had she seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career.
The mum was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from school and moved out of Sydney, relocating to Newcastle.
25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with the incurable cardio disease. All the doctors strongly advised her to have heart surgery, which only one surgeon could perform, in Newcastle.
Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful. When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome young doctor smiling down at her.
She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died.
The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend, Bruce, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment in order to connect his vacuum cleaner!
Don't tell me you thought stupid Bruce became a heart surgeon?
Sometimes I worry about you, sweetcheeks.

[vetran]

It is our fault there are so many evil people in the world.

We keep re-electing them.

[vetran]

Working in a sex shop isn't as much fun as you might think.

Today I had to stop a pervert from stealing a tube of KY Jelly and a bottle of Baby Oil.

He was a slippery customer.

[vetran]

Charles is publicly proclaimed as the new monarch by historic meeting of the privy council.

William was there to support his father.

Harry wasn't.

James Hewitt wasn't invited.

[vetran]

I’m driving while trying to come up with a Queen Elizabeth joke

But I’m worried I’ll crash and that’s more of a Princess Diana joke...

[vetran]

And in at number 1 this week, The Artist Formerly Known As Prince Charles with Party Like It's 1997