Just be glad this heat wave's not happening in winter. Can you imagine shovelling snow in this heat?
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Please put more jokes here
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hmm
You know you're in a tulip hotel when you phone the front desk and say, "I've got a leak in my sink." and they reply, "Go ahead."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I'm not saying it's hot but I just saw Prince Andrew buy an antiperspirant.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I'm not saying it's hot. But, I've just squirted the contents of a, McDonald's apple pie over my head to cool down...Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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As the weather is so hot I asked the Hermes delivery driver if he'd like a bottle of cold water. When he said yes I dropkicked it over a fence into my neighbour's rose bush and told him I'd left it in a designated safe space.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I'm not saying it's hot in my living room,
But two Hobbits just walked in and threw a ring into itAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Congratulations to everybody who survived the 48 hour Great Melt.
So that's climate change done, what's next?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Former Formula One boss Bernie Ecclestone will face charges of fraud after an investigation by UK tax authorities that allegedly found undeclared assets worth more than £400m overseas.
I reckon they just misunderstood when he told them he was a bit short.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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sadly true
I got asked who I would prefer as PM, Sunak or Truss. "
It's a bit like asking me if I preferred Harold Shipman as my doctor, or Jimmy Saville as my babysitter, " I replied.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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