• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    James Akaster/Nish Kumar telling Ricky Gervais to be a better comedian is like Diane Abbott telling Steven Hawking to be better at mathematics!
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

    Comment


      I'm not saying that wartyis ugly but he got a job as Kevin Spacey's personal dresser and Spacey asked him if he minded if they stayed just friends.
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

      Comment


        Kevin Spacey...**** off.

        Coming over here, taking our knobs.
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

        Comment


          I bought an owl with a speech impediment. It didn't bother it at all.

          In fact it couldn't give two hoots.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            Ray Liotta's dead.

            He's survived by his daughter, Tarka.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              What a shame that Ray Liotta has died.

              He was a good fella.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Click image for larger version

Name:	60649-5a2e771e-ce3f-41b1-be01-443b766e8977.jpg
Views:	143
Size:	102.9 KB
ID:	4219160
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  Norwich have already sold out of season tickets for next season.

                  To be fair, they only have to print one family ticket and then 'everyones' in.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I'm pretty sober, but I'm even prettier when you're drunk.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      After two unsuccessful sex change operations, Lionel Richie's son finally got it right at the third attempt.

                      Yes, he's once, twice, three times a lady.
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X