I've been prescribed anti-gloating cream...
I can't wait to rub it in.
I can't wait to rub it in.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I gave up Chinese takeaways after Covid and now I've given up Vodka because of the Russians.
If Colombia invade anyone, I'm done for.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I'm going to get my dying cat to sue Ed Sheeran, her groans of pain sound EXACTLY like at least 20 of his songsAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Asked my friend how he's doing?
He said, "I missed a few car payments and now I'm back on my feet."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I’ve just failed an RAF entrance exam.
Apparently the bomb bay doors aren’t an Indian tribute act.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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should have asked HALOriginally posted by WTFH View PostAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I've just found out my wife is involved with a paedophile ring!
She's just got a new job at the BBCAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Male or female:
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off…it takes a while to warm them up again.
They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed…but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TYRES: Tyres are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object… Because to get them to go anywhere…you have to light a fire under their arse.
SPONGES: These are female…because they are soft…squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female…because they’re constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male… Because they always use the same old lines for picking up people…
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because…over time…all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male… Because in the last 5000 years…they’ve hardly changed at all…and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Male: It easily gives a man pleasure, he’d be lost without it…and while he doesn’t always know which buttons to push…he just keeps tryingAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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SPIDERMAN: I have spider-like powers
SUPERMAN: I can fly and have x-ray vision
WEATHERMAN: It's going to be overcast in Kent on Sunday…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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On this day in 1967, Pink Floyd released their first single.
It’s just getting to the end of the guitar solo now.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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