Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Now that the travel restrictions are not as severe, my neighbour Mohammed`s travel agency is doing really well.

He specialises in pilgrimage tours to the Muslim holy places. Apparently he`s making mecca bucks.

[vetran]

I just sneezed all over my toast.
I can’t believe it…snot butter.

[vetran]

Heard about the blonde who saw a crate of milk in a field and thought it was a cow's nest?

[BR14]

as usual. - as funny as a 3am house fire

[vetran]

as usual. - as funny as a 3am house fire

Carry on knock one out!

Do supply your own

[vetran]

A horse walks into a bar with Aiden O' Brien and the bouncer says "sorry, no trainers"

[vetran]

Husband calls wife and says "Remember thirty years ago when we were really broke and we were window shopping and we saw a magnificent diamond necklace worth over £200,000?"
Intrigued, the wife says "Yes. . I remember that necklace. You promised me that day that one day when you were rich enough, you would buy that necklace for me"
The husband says "Do you remember the location of the jewellery shop?"
Excited now, the wife says "Yes! I do. . . I remember exactly where it is!"
The husband says "Good. Because I've been drinking all afternoon with some mates in a pub that's just across the road from that jewellery shop and I need you to come and pick me up, because I'm too pissed to drive"

[vetran]

83% of parenting and being married.

Is being able to watch the same movie 1,203,553 times...

[vetran]

Pulling suggestions for spooter

When I go out on the pull nowadays, I tell the ladies I'm a crypto millionaire.

I own a million Shiba Inu coins. Worth nearly fifty quid now.

[vetran]

When I told my wife we were going out to eat like royalty for our anniversary, she didn't expect a Burger King.