Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry

He has selfie steam issues.

[vetran]

I'm fine with people identifying as non-binary.



I just wish they wouldn't 01 and 1 and 1 about it.

[vetran]

My statistics professor is certain he will get in shape this year.


He's doing confidence intervals.

[vetran]

I climbed a tree yesterday to try to get some goose feathers.
"Get down from there!", shouted the park keeper.
I said, "Yes, That's what I'm trying to do!"

[vetran]

My son is the most uncoordinated kid I've ever seen. If you throw a ball at him, not only will he not catch it, but you can almost guarantee it will hit him straight on the forehead. Don't ask him to kick a ball either. He'll completely miss it and trip over his own feet. Honestly, he's a total spaz. Anyway, long story short, he's been with Spurs since he was eight and he's making his first team debut tomorrow.

[vetran]

Just been to my first meeting of Porn Addicts Anonymous.



They told me to cum again soon.

[vetran]

A lot of Biden voters would’ve been very disappointed with his performance if they hadn’t died twenty years ago.

[vetran]

I went to the zoo last week.

In the first cage there were two monkeys French-kissing.

In the next cage were two lemurs tossing each other off, and in the third cage were two hyenas doing a 69.



It was a heavy petting zoo.

[vetran]

Labour's brand new campaign slogan is "Win The Future".



WTF??

[vetran]

Here's a simple recipe for turning leftover potato peelings, broccoli stalks and old carrots into bacon.

1. Feed them to a pig.