I have a friend with no social skills and a Ph.D in the history of palindromes.
I call him Dr. Awkward.
I call him Dr. Awkward.
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…Maybe we ain’t that young anymore -
For Brillo
My wife screamed at me “You’re bloody obsessed with those Star Wars movies. I’m leaving you”
“May divorce be with you” I replied.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My doctor said that I should put a bar in my shower to stop me falling over.
Silly boy! After four double rums I can't even find the soap.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I was wanked off by my Mum's sister last night. What an auntie climax.The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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A guy walks in to a bar and sits down, just a few seats from him there is a very buxom blonde with huge size 42CC breasts.
The guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and slides it down the bar. It hits the lady's boobs and splashes all over them...
The bartender retrieves the glass and licks the beer off the blonde. Each time he calls for a beer, this happens. So after the third beer, he decides to help the bartender out. The next time the bartender hits her boobs,he jumps up and starts to lick her breasts...AND SHE DECKS HIM.
He is laying on the floor moaning and groaning, "Jeez..then why do you let the bartender do it?"
Are you ready . . . .
here it comes . . . .
The blonde replies "Because he has a liquor license"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I urgently needed a few days off work, but I knew the boss would not allow me to take a leave. I thought that maybe if I acted "CRAZY" then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside down on the ceiling and made funny noises.
My coworker (who is blonde) asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the boss would think I was "CRAZY" and give me a few days off. A few minutes later the boss came into the office and asked "What are you doing"?
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said "You are clearly stressed out. Go home and recuperate for a couple of days".
I jumped down and walked out of the office. When my co-worker followed me, the boss asked her "...And where do you think you're going"?
She said, "I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark"!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What's the difference between my wife and my computer?I can turn my computer on.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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There's a urinary side effect to the new Pfizer vaccine.
It makes your p silentAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I was just reading an article about that actress becoming trans gender
... a real Page turnerAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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If the new covid vaccine is still liquid after being stored at minus 70 degrees, it must be made of McDonald's deep fried Apple Pie filling.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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