Nowadays I always watch pornography with the subtitles turned on.
I'm not going deaf, I'm just trying to improve my Polish.
I'm not going deaf, I'm just trying to improve my Polish.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I bought fifty boxes of Oxo and bovril cubes today.
Might as well stockpile like everyone else.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I said to my wife, "The kids haven't eaten their sandwiches."
"Don't worry," she said, "just throw them out."
I opened the front door and said, "Mom says you two have to **** off."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Paddy phones the hotel's reception desk and says, "Room 168, could ye please send someone over roit away, I'm having argument wid der woife and she's said she's gonna jump out der window." The concierge replies, "I'm sorry sir, but we cannot intervene, this seems to be a personal issue." "Now ye listen to me ye little bollox," yells Paddy, ". . . der fecking window is jammed shut, it's a maintenance issue!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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As an incentive to join Nigel Farage's Reform Party, he is offering new members 50% discount of his next party and 20% discount off the one after that."A people that elect corrupt politicians, imposters, thieves and traitors are not victims, but accomplices," George OrwellComment
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What do you call an unsatisfied lesbian?
Mrs coxAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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John called his wife from the hospital, “Darling, bad news, I had an accident at work today; I fell into some machinery and mangled both my legs. Suzie dragged me out but then the ambulance crashed on the way to hospital and broke my left arm and a few ribs causing a punctured lung. When we eventually got to A&E they dropped me lifting me into bed and ruptured my spleen. I've lost a lot of blood and the Doctor says it's touch and go whether I’m going to pull through!”
John's wife replied, “Who’s Suzie?”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Judging by what I've just passed, my bowel isn't irritable, it's ******* furious.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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for our musicians.
being a guitar player I am often compared to Brian May and Slash, only the other day my mate said to me " compared to Brian May and Slash you are tulip"..Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I haven't been following the US election but my wife has.
"**** sake, it looks like that mentally unstable racist narcissist with the porn star wife has won", she commented.
Fair play to him. I didn't realise Kanye actually stood a chance.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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