I went into the library and asked for a book on the history of spinsters.
"It's been left on the shelf" said the librarian.
"It's been left on the shelf" said the librarian.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
What's the definition of gross incompetence?
144 Tory MPs.…Maybe we ain’t that young anymoreComment
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My dream job would be answering the phone on the suppository helpline. Imagine that. Every time someone phones up, you tell them to shove it up their arse!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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“OK darling, you all set ?” He whispered seductively
‘Yes”, she replied huskily
“Have you thought of a safe word ?”
“Meatloaf” she answered.”
“Meatloaf ?” He queried .
“But of course” she said, “I’ll do anything for love but I won’t do that !”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Wife: I've badly injured my knee
Me: Are Eenie, Meenie and Mo ok?
Wife: I hate you.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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So I said to the Doctor
"My anxiety attacks seem to be most prevelant when I'm driving on the M5"
"Would they be most intense around junctions 11, 11a and 12?" the Doctor asked
"Yes I think your right Dr" I replied "What do you think it is?"
With a worried look the doctor said "I'm afraid you may well be Gloucesterphobic!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I went to an aquarium and there was a fish singing Dean Martin songs.
I asked one of the staff, "What's that fish singing?"
He replied, "That's a Moray".Comment
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I just bought 2000 slices of spam in batter
I'm just frittering my money awayComment
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"Doctor, doctor...
The GUI on my Unix based system has crashed and it's left me with just a command line prompt. Is it serious?"
"I'm afraid it's Terminal."Comment
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