Have you ever tried archery blindfolded?
You don't know what you're missing!
You don't know what you're missing!
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Sick
There's a documentary just started on BBC2 about Dr Harold Shipman. It's called The Shipman Files.
Why didn't they call it The Old Dear Hunter?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I thought global warming was killing off snowflakes, but it’s actually making them worse!!!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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An elephant and a camel are talking. The elephant asks, "Why do you have boobs on your back?" The camel replies, "Ha! That's a funny question coming from an animal with a penis hanging from his face."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Q: How come oysters never donate to charity?
A: Because they are shellfish.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A wealthy old lady decides to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her poodle along for company. One day the poodle starts chasing butterflies and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a hungry-looking leopard heading rapidly in his direction. The poodle thinks, "Uh, oh!" Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the poodle exclaims loudly, "Boy, that was one delicious leopard! I wonder if there are any more around here?" Hearing this, the leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. "Whew!" says the leopard. "That was close! That poodle nearly had me!" Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So off he goes, but the poodle sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up. The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard. The leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, "Here, monkey, hop on my back so you can watch me chew that poodle to bits!" Now, the poodle sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, "What am I going to do now?" but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and waits until they get just close enough to hear. "Where's that damn monkey?" the poodle says. "I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A farmer buys a young rooster. As soon as he brings the bird to the farm, it rushes & f*cks all 150 hens. The farmer is impressed thinking about all the eggs the hens would hatch. At lunch, the rooster again screws all 150 hens. The farmer gets a bit worried now. The next day, he finds the rooster ******** the ducks, geese, & a parrot too which is now scaring him. Later that day, he finds the rooster lying pale, half-dead with vultures circling over its head. The farmer says, "You horny bastard, you deserve this." The rooster opens one eye, points up, & whispers, "Shh! Don't shout, let them land!"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Q: How do fish get high?
A: Seaweed.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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for PC
Did you know . . . ?
If you staple enough 'L' plates to a fence in Wales eventually you'll come up with the name of a village!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I got stung by nettles earlier...
He charged me £200 for a signed ‘Bergerac’ DVD!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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