Love those new Russian cookies.
Novichokchip
Novichokchip
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Bought a hardcore video off a bloke in the pub last night.
Waste of ******* money.... just lots of blokes filling in a hole with rubble.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Eddie 'The Eagle' Edwards has agreed to be a judge on my new TV show, featuring the wondrous abilities of birds of prey up snowy mountains.
Britain's Got Talons.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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It’s a little known fact that Yorkshire folk have a new way of talking drugs.
It’s known as E by gum.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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The mother-in-law comes for a surprise visit. The son-in-law opens the door:
"Hi! Long time no see! How long are you staying this time?"
The mother-in-law smiles, trying to be polite:
"Until you get tired of me."
"Really? You’re not even staying for a coffee?"Comment
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A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team’s bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. “Oh, I really liked it,” she replied, “especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn’t understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents.” Dumbfounded, her date asked, “What do you mean?” “Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!’ I’m like, hello? It’s only 25 cents!”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They run into an old barn and hide in potato sacks. The officer chasing them walks into the barn looking for them. He kicks the first sack with the redhead inside and the redhead says, “Woof woof!” The cop thinks it’s a dog, so he walks to the next one. He kicks the second bag with the brunette, and she says, “Meow meow!” The cop believes it’s a cat and moves on. He kicks the third bag with the blonde, and the blonde yells, “Potato potato!”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Why did the blonde pee on the ground?
Because she saw a sign that said ‘Wet Floor.’Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What did the blonde do when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home?
She moved.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Just wondering if you've thought of applying to the BBC?Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
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