Tonight I dreamt of walking on a sandy beach. I guess that explains the footprints in my cat's litter box.
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
Q:why cant orphans play baseball
A:they dont know where home isAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Grab your taco, you’ve pulled a dyslexic Mexican.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My wife asked me, “What did you buy me for valentines day?”
“Well,” I chuckled. “You see that pink Mercedes over there?”
“Yes,” she said happily.
“Well I bought you a toothbrush the same colour.”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Wife’s really angry tonight complaining I never buy her flowers!
Didn’t even realise she sold flowers.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Decided that I am going to buy my girlfriend flowers every day in February. The girl who works in the florists is really hot.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My dog minton has eaten all the shuttlecocks.
BadmintonAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Q: What did Jay-Z call Beyonce when they got engaged
A: FianceAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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XMAS - I love this time of year.
You can slam your laptop shut when your girlfriend walks into the room and you don’t get any disgusted looks.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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