Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Socking to hear that despite of the recent fiasco of DHL failing to deliver KFC products that they have now gone and won the Cadburys contract, great timing just before Easter!

Problem is, what do they deliver first.. The chicken or the egg!

[vetran]

What type of bees can you get milk from.....
......boo bees

[vetran]

Just found out the Mint in the USA where they create small coins has stopped producing them completely. Can you believe that?!

It makes no cents.

[vetran]

I nearly got sacked on my first day being a roofer when my boss caught me wanking.
Luckily he said I could wipe the slate clean.

[vetran]

Drove past a field the other day and saw a scarecrow trying to have a wank...... i thought now that prat is clutching at straws.

[vetran]

Rushed out of bed and jumped on the tube this morning.

******* toothpaste everywhere.

[vetran]

DHL have done more for child obesity than Jamie Oliver has done in 10 years.

[vetran]

A paper bag goes to the doctor and says, 'I've had this cough for a few weeks and feel a bit ill'. The doctor does a few tests, asks a few questions then says, 'I'm afraid you are HIV positive'. The bag says, 'How the **** can I have AIDS? I'm a white paper bag!'
The doctor replies, 'Yes, but your mother was a carrier'.

[vetran]

For our curvier friends

What is a fat kids favourite musical instrument?

The dinner bell...

[vetran]

I booked a table at a restaurant last night.
Then people started shouting, “Ref you twunt, you're fecking blind!”