Please put more jokes here

[BrilloPad]

Tampax have announced that they will be replacing their traditional tampon string with tinsel.

This will be for the Christmas Period only.

[BrilloPad]

he following conversation took place after a lesbian woman attempted to kiss a straight woman.

Straight woman: Stop trying to kiss me, I’ve told you I’m straight!!”
Lesbian: So is spaghetti until it gets wet!!

[BrilloPad]

Took my mother-in-law out last night. Loving my new sniper rifle.

[BrilloPad]

Q. What human body part is long, hard, bendable, and contains the letters p,e,n,i,s?

A. Your spine.

[BrilloPad]

My new business on Ebay is a great success. Just sold my homing pigeons for the 17th time in a row!

[BrilloPad]

--He's making a database
--He's sorting it twice
Select * from Contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice'
--SQL Clause is coming to town!

[BrilloPad]

Wealthy Arab sheikh goes up to his son and asks "I know you have almost everything but what would you really like for Christmas?", and the son replies "I'd really love a cowboy outfit", so his dad bought him HMRC!!

[BrilloPad]

I got a Jehova (or Je Ho Ho Ho va) Witness themed Advent calendar.

Every time you open one of the little doors, and voice shouts “F*CK OFF!”

[WTFH]

--He's making a database
--He's sorting it twice
Select * from Contacts WHERE behavior = 'nice'
--SQL Clause is coming to town!

He's making a database,
He's checking it twice
SELECT * FROM Contacts WHERE behaviour = 'Nice'

...

SQL Clause is coming to town

Who's going to get that one in next year?

[LondonManc]

What's got 15 windows that won't open?

Max Clifford's advent calendar.