Please put more jokes here

[BrilloPad]

I went to my local s ex shop last night to get a new blow-up doll. As I was looking at them the clerk came up to me and asked if I needed help? I said yes and he asked if I wanted a male or female? I said a female and he asked blonde or brunette? I said blonde. Then he asked Mu sli m or Christian? I asked what's the difference? He said the M usli m blows itself up.

[vetran]

Some eclipse ones

Me and the wife were having sex while watching the total eclipse on TV.

The Sun , the Moon , and the Earth all moved.

[vetran]

We watched with shock and awe as the massive round form slowly moved forward and blotted out the sun, casting everything into complete darkness.

But then we asked MF to stand back so we could try and watch the eclipse.

[vetran]

So that's it then, this one in 2017 and now the next is not until 2024.

Still though, a blow job from the wife is always welcome.

[vetran]

I fully support Gay Marriages.
They have every right to be as miserable as the rest of us.

[vetran]

"Why are you painting number 34 on our bin when we live at number two?" asked my wife.

"It's so the ******* binmen will leave it near our house when they've emptied it, " I replied.

[vetran]

I put the sexy in dyslexic.

[vetran]

There's a new magazine for gay military members.

It's mainly just photos of Privates.

[vetran]

A very strange thing happened last night.

There I was in the kitchen, having stripped the carburetor on the work surface and de-greasing some other parts from my motorbike in the sink, when my wife came home, looked at me in a very peculiar way, then, for no reason whatsoever her mood ring just exploded?

[vetran]

A new study found our happiness peaks in our late 80s ...

That's because all the people who pissed you off are now dead.