AVOID the annoyance of having to wait for energy-saving lightbulbs to warm up by simply leaving them switched on all the time.
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain” -
Son: Did you know in some countries you don't even know your wife until you get married?
Me: It's like that everywhere, mate.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
I started talking a really good looking girl at the bar.
Holding my stomach in I said, "I'm a bit of an adrenaline junkie."
She said, "Really, What's the scariest thing you've done?"
I said, "Well, last night I ordered a chicken kebab from a takeaway with a zero hygiene rating."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
A nun went to see Mother Superior and said, "Mother Superior, my bra's bust."
Mother Superior replied, "Daughter of the church, remember where you are."
She said, "Ok then, Mother Superior, my cup runneth over."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
My wife walked in on me wearing her clothes this morning... Neither of us were that surprised...
Why wouldn't she be wearing her clothes.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I heard something on the radio today that made me chuckle... Prince Phillip is standing down from public duties at age 95. He intends to take up painting water colours..... does that make him the artist formally known as Prince.....?“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Nappies and politicians should be changed regularly, both for the same reason.“The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”Comment
-
Originally posted by shaunbhoy View PostI heard something on the radio today that made me chuckle... Prince Phillip is standing down from public duties at age 95. He intends to take up painting water colours..... does that make him the artist formally known as Prince.....?Comment
-
Originally posted by shaunbhoy View PostI heard something on the radio today that made me chuckle... Prince Phillip is standing down from public duties at age 95. He intends to take up painting water colours..... does that make him the artist formally known as Prince.....?Originally posted by Stevie Wonder BoyI can't see any way to do it can you please advise?
I want my account deleted and all of my information removed, I want to invoke my right to be forgotten.Comment
-
Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black have tied the knot
What is the point in that, there is no way that either of them could get pregnantAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 14:11
- How Autumn Budget 2024 affects homes, property and mortgages Oct 31 09:23
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 09:20
- Autumn Budget 2024: Umbrella companies hit, Employer NICs hiked, and BADR heading for 18% Oct 30 16:54
- Autumn Budget 2024: chancellor’s full speech Oct 30 16:34
- RecExpo got told this about Labour’s Employment Rights Bill… Oct 30 09:10
- A limited company just got one over HMRC on VAT; here’s how Oct 29 09:24
- Business Account with ANNA Money Oct 28 15:51
- Top 5 Autumn Budget areas for IT contractors to tick off Oct 28 09:30
- Top 5 umbrella company expenses things to still do in 2024 under 2016's T&S rules Oct 24 08:21
Comment