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Please put more jokes here

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    Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is 2 hearts and a diamond, but by the end you'll wish you had a club and a spade.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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      Arguing with a woman is like reading a software license agreement, in the end you ignore it all, wait for the end and click "I agree"
      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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        How many tourette's sufferer's does it twat to **** a lightbollocks?
        Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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          Short on time at Tesco? Park in a disabled bay. If anyone questions your disability, just shout "Tourette's! F**K OFF YOU T**T!"
          The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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            Get a sense of what public transport is like in every other city in Britain by visiting London during a tube strike
            “The period of the disintegration of the European Union has begun. And the first vessel to have departed is Britain”

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              My mobile went & I wasn't sure if it was going to be my mum or my girlfriend calling....

              Then I remembered I live in Norfolk.....
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                Katie Hopkins has stated that Britain needs euthanasia vans as we have far too many old people.
                I agree, lets start with those who have inflicted the most misery upon us.

                Like Katie Hopkin's ******* parents
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                  An Irishwoman gave birth to triplets and named them Nat,Pat and Tat.

                  However when she tried to breastfeed them she found out there was no tit for Tat.
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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                    What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

                    Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
                    The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

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                      Originally posted by LondonManc View Post
                      What's black and sits at the top of the stairs?

                      Stephen Hawking after a house fire.
                      Omg lol. And you say I have no soul.
                      'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

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