• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
  • Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!

Please put more jokes here

Collapse
X
  •  
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    Stereotypes neither are supposed to want to pay.
    Ahhh - the humour of anti-semitism passing as lazy stereotyping. Thanks for clarifying.

    Comment


      Not sure if this should be here, or in the Brexit thread... http://www.thepoke.co.uk/2016/10/06/...vernment-form/
      …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

      Comment


        Bloke has sex with a brass and then asks, "did you take precautions?"
        She replies, "no, did you?"
        He shrugs and says, "nope, so when you have a son in nine months, call it Steven."
        To which the brass replies, "you'll have a rash in three days, call it whatever the f**k you want."
        The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't exist

        Comment


          A used beer map taped to your arm makes a great "alcohol patch" for #Stoptober
          …Maybe we ain’t that young anymore

          Comment


            Originally posted by missinggreenfields View Post
            Ahhh - the humour of anti-semitism passing as lazy stereotyping. Thanks for clarifying.
            all my best jewish jokes come from my Rabbi.
            Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

            Comment


              Shaving with a straight razor takes a lot of courage........

              I used to shave my privates with one , but I don't have the balls to do that now.
              Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

              Comment


                Have you ever heard of the Oscar Pistorious drinking game?
                When your girlfriend goes to the toilet you take 5 shots
                Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                Comment


                  On holiday in Spain, I saw a sign:

                  ENGLISH SPEAKING DOCTOR

                  I thought 'What a good idea, we ought to have those in England'
                  Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                  Comment


                    I can swallow a shoelace and make it come out tied in a bow.




                    .. I sh1t you knot.
                    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                    Comment


                      When ever it rains my girlfriend just stands at the window looking sad.

                      Sometimes I even let her in.
                      1
                      Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X