For AssGuru
Ever met someone and immediately wanted to buy them a toaster for the bathtub ?
Ever met someone and immediately wanted to buy them a toaster for the bathtub ?
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
One.
How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I was nervous about meeting new people on a cruise,
until I realised, we are all in the same boat.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What's the difference between roadkill and a dead chav?
Roadkill has skid marks in front of it.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For NLYUK
Goerdie goes with a prostitute from Wigan. Drops his pants gets his cock out &
the lass says by thats a gud un!
He says whats a gud un?
She reply's it means a big one.
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She drops her knickers & he says by that's a canny un. She says whats a canny un?
He reply's a ******* big valley that cowboys ride through!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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IKEA are now selling lesbian beds.
No nuts or screws just tongue and groove.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For NLUK
A couple just got married, and when the husband went back to his house he found that his bride had disappeared. He got very worried and gathered up all his friends to search for his wife with no success.
Two days after his wife disappeared the man returned home to find her in the kitchen. He asked her what she has been up to and why she hasn't been home for so long.
She replied: "These four men kidnapped me and had wild sex with me for a week."
The husband answered: "But it's only been two days what do you mean a week?"
"I am only here to get something to eat."Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I went to see my Grandmother the other day. She's 98.
What are you so happy about, I asked her.
I broke a mirror this morning, she replied.
But that means seven years of bad luck, I said.
I know, she said, beaming. Isn’t it ******* wonderful”Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For Mrs MF
I'm not saying my husband is fat.
But if I had to pick five of the fattest people I could think of, he would be three of them.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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For our Divorcees
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, Why is the bride dressed in white
Because white is the colour of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life, her mother tried to explain, keeping it simple.
The child thought for a moment, and then said, So why's the groom wearing blackAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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