'A sewage farm. In what way is it a farm? Is there a farm shop?
- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Please put more jokes here
Collapse
X
Collapse
-
-
I knew a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink and be Mary.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That's the one thing I'm so indebted to her for.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
for the ladies
'She said she was approaching forty, and I couldn't help wondering from what direction.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
'I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. So I ordered 'French Toast during the Renaissance'.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
My boyfriend had a sex manual but he was dyslexic. I was lying there and he was looking for my vinegar.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
'The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.' - Sid Caesar (1922-2014)Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
For Brillo
A man doesn't know what happiness is until he's married. By then it's too late.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
My problem with the Grand Canyon is Americans are too proud of it for my liking. The Grand Canyon was like that when they found it! And it’s not like it was hard to find.'Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- How to answer at interview, ‘What’s your greatest weakness?’ Yesterday 09:59
- Business Asset Disposal Relief changes in April 2025: Q&A Nov 13 09:37
- How debt transfer rules will hit umbrella companies in 2026 Nov 12 09:28
- IT contractor demand floundering despite Autumn Budget 2024 Nov 11 09:30
- An IR35 bill of £19m for National Resources Wales may be just the tip of its iceberg Nov 7 09:20
- Micro-entity accounts: Overview, and how to file with HMRC Nov 6 09:27
- Will HMRC’s 9% interest rate bully you into submission? Nov 5 09:10
- Business Account with ANNA Money Nov 1 15:51
- Autumn Budget 2024: Reeves raids contractor take-home pay Oct 31 14:11
- How Autumn Budget 2024 affects homes, property and mortgages Oct 31 09:23
Comment