Couldn't remember the Roman numerals for 51, 6 and 500.
Livid.
Livid.
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Originally posted by Stevie Wonder Boy -
a few clean jokes to tell SY's Granny.
How does the Solar System hold up its trousers? With an asteroid belt
• What kinds of music do planets sing? Neptunes
• An astronaut broke the law of gravity and earned a suspended sentence
• That was a poor joke about infinity – it didn't have an ending
Let's hope the new Jurassic World isn't a train rex of a film
• What do you call it when a dinosaur is involved in a car accident? Tyrannasaurus wreck
• What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus
• What do you call a blind dinosaur? Adoyouthinkhesaurus
• What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur? Jurassic PorkAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What do you call a blind dinosaurs dog? Adoyouthinkhesaurus RexOriginally posted by vetran View PostOriginally posted by Stevie Wonder BoyComment
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How did brave Egyptians write? In hero-glyphics
• Why couldn't the mummy answer the phone? She was tied up
• Why do mummies not tell secrets? They keep everything under wraps
• What was the most popular kids' movie in Ancient Greece? Troy Story
What kind of lighting did Noah have on the ark? Flood lights
• Where did Noah keep his bees? In the ark hives
What would they call a drugs festival at Stonehenge? Stonedhenge
• What would they call afternoon tea at Stonehenge? Sconehenge
Who was Socrates' worst student? Mediocrities
• Who was Socrates' busiest student? The one with a lot on his Plato
• What do you call a fliratatious philosopher: A Socratease
• What relative did Socrates need after his trial? An Aunty doteAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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What did Romans use to cut string? A pair of Caesars
• When Brutus asked Caesar how many oranges he had eaten, he replied: "Et two, Brute"
• What did Caesar say to Cleopatra? Toga-ther we can rule the world
• Why did the Romans build straight roads? So their soldiers didn't go around the bend
• Which famous Roman suffered from hayfever? Julius Sneezer
• Who refereed the tennis match between Caesar and Mark Anthony? A Roman Umpire
• Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons? He wanted to mark Antony
• Why was Shakespeare denied a drink at a pub? He was Bard
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation
• Jesus saves . . . but Keegan scores the rebound (famous football banner from the Seventies)
• Jesus said to Peter, "Come forth and I will give you eternal glory." Peter came fifth and won a toaster
What's a volcano's favourite historical document? The Magma Carte
• What does a volcano do when it wants food for a party? Orders a cratering company
• What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I Lava YouAlways forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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I know a different punch line to this, which only Catherine Tate's gran should hearOriginally posted by vetran View PostOriginally posted by Stevie Wonder BoyComment
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Erm, you can still cross a Mobius strip.. going along it is a different story surely...Originally posted by TheFaQQer View Post
'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!
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Thought for the day:
If a man speaks and his wife cannot hear him, is he still wrong?The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world that he didn't existComment
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