Dr Seuss once said "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".
I take it there was never a Mrs Seuss.
I take it there was never a Mrs Seuss.
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Last edited by vetran; 23 June 2015, 11:23.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much. -
I'm not saying no one likes me or anything,
but even the Jehovah's Witnesses pass by my house without knocking.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day.
She thought I was stalking her but I wasn't, I just had her WiFi code.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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My new housemate is French. Last night when he got home I said, "Nice to know you're from France.. My favourite place is North of France, actually.."
"Let me guess," he said, "Lille.. Arras.. or maybe Côte d'Opale?.."
"No, England." I replied.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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After being away for a week's holiday with the girls, my wife came back and found me in bed with my best mate, Steve.
"It's not what it looks like" I shouted "He's fat, smells, snores, I don't fancy him in the slightest and we never have sex"
"So what we're you doing in bed with him" she cried.
"Well I was missing you" I explained.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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A girl walked up to me in a bar and said, "I haven't had sex in months. I'll be in the third girl's toilet cubicle along in five minutes".
It's not surprising it's been that long, I thought. Why would I want to know that she's off for a tulip?!Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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We've just had a new wooden floor fitted, so I asked my wife to varnish it while I was at work.
Stupid cow only did the nails, and in bright pink.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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Whenever I come home from the pub, my wife reminds me of Celine Dion's heart.
She goes on and on.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
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