Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

nerds again

I got some funny looks in Asda today when I was walking around in my underpants doing my shopping.

I usually shop in the comfort of my own home but the bloody computer crashed.

[vetran]

I'm horrified to read that doctors are now advising not to drink alcohol two days running. So today I shall be walking instead

[vetran]

for the scaly one

my wife said she would like to go back to the 1930's to see what it would be like ' so i took her to wales for the day .

[vetran]

I've just been taken to Court and fined £1,000 for not having a TV licence.

The Judge did not think 'Not wishing to fund paedophilia at the BBC' is a valid enough excuse for not having one it would seem.

[vetran]

A nun walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on the immaculate conception, please?"

"Yes," replied the librarian, "over in the theology section. Having a little refresher are we, sister?"


"No," she replied. "I'm pregnant and I just want to make sure I get my story right."

[vetran]

If you're going to diagnose yourself with OCD, how many times do you have to do that to be sure?

[vetran]

I've learnt a very valuable lesson today, as a parent.

Pretending that you don't know your kids in public, is much easier than trying to discipline them.

[vetran]

When asked what it was like getting over a Viagra addiction my buddy said,"Well my first few days were the hardest."

[vetran]

I was going to write a joke about sex after marriage...

But you won't get it.

[vetran]

39.2

I was reading about this woman in Torquay. She lived for a whole week in a flat with her dead husband.

She realized he was dead just after she said, " ... and that was my day. How was your day?"