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A russian ship arrives to the port. Some guy is standing on the shore. A russian sailor from the ship throws a line at him and shouts:
- Держу каната!
The guy doesn't react. The sailor shouts again:
- Держу каната!!!
The guy still does nothing, staring at him. The sailor asks:
- Говорите на русски?
The guy does nothing.
- Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
The guy does nothing.
- Parlez-vous français?
The guy does nothing.
- Do you speak English?
The guy suddenly wakes up and shouts:
- Yes, I do!
Then the russian sailor shouts:
- Но то держу каната!!!
The Government has decided that we need to understand the gunpowder plot in modern terms, so from this year on Guy Fawkes Night will now be known as 5/11
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
One day the Pope was walking down an Italian road when he spotted a black magic shop in an alleyway.
Curious, he decided to go inside and look around. As he approached the counter, the woman behind told him they were doing a special on Voodoo Dolls.
The Pope thought for a few moments and told the woman he would like to buy one. She then informed him he would need to get the hair of the person he would like the doll to represent. He plucked some hair from his head and handed it over the counter. "You want a doll of yourself?" she asked. The Pope nodded and soon left with his doll.
The next day the Pope was visiting the victim of abuse at one of his churches. Producing the doll he said to the child, "Show me on the doll where the naughty priest touched you."
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.
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