Please put more jokes here

[Money Money Money]

Stumpy Grinder and his wife Martha were from Portland, Maine. Every year they went to the Portland Fair and every year Stumpy said, "Ya know, Mahtha, I'd like ta get a ride in that theah aihplane." And every year, Martha would say "I know, Stumpy, but that aihplane ride costs ten dollahs .. and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So one year Stumpy says, "By Jeebers, Mahtha, I'm 71 yeahs old, and if I don't go this time I may nevah go." Martha replies, "Stumpy, that there aihplane ride is ten dollahs ... and ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

So the pilot overhears then and says, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say ONE WORD, then I won't charge you. But just ONE WORD and it's ten dollars."

They agree and up they go... the pilot does all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word is heard. He does it one more time, and there is still no word... so he lands.

He turns to Stumpy as they come to a stop and says, "By golly, I did everything I could think of to get you to holler out, but you didn't."

And Stumpy replies "Well, I was gonna say something when Mahtha fell out ... but ten dollahs is ten dollahs."

[TestMangler]

My mate told me he was f***ing a couple of twins and they both loved it up the a**e.

I asked him how he tells them apart.

He said, "Easy, Sally has long blonde hair and Dave has a beard"

[Board Game Geek]

My mate told me he was f***ing a couple of twins and they both loved it up the a**e.

I asked him how he tells them apart.

He said, "Easy, Sally has long blonde hair and Dave has a beard"

Sally = Ffion = Beard
Dave = William

[ChimpMaster]

More than 2 weeks since a joke was put in here, so .... bump.

(yes I'm no good at jokes).

[Maslins]

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop......Dr Dre

[Money Money Money]

So Paris Hilton is denied entry to japan,

I'm sure she will still find japs eyes elsewhere as usual

[Money Money Money]

I got a punctured tyre the other day but fortunately an obese woman was on hand to offer one of her spares.

[Money Money Money]

I will never forget what my dear old Grandad said to me just before he kicked the bucket.
He said, "Grandson... how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

[Money Money Money]

I have invented a kitchen cleaner that kills 0.1% of bacteria.

I plan to sell the secret to Dettol.

[Money Money Money]

I could never work in the Jobcentre. Imagine if you got fired! You'd still have to show up the next day...