Please put more jokes here

[cailin maith]

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?

A winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?

A bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind?

A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes?

A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?

A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a Bus?

Talented !!!!

[DaveB]

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who swims the English Channel?

Clever Dick.

[realityhack]

Just seen this and had to share:
http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/...-inaugural.jpg

[Pondlife]

Just seen this and had to share:
http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/...-inaugural.jpg

but

And as a guide for some on here

http://graphjam.com/2009/08/26/song-...ve-girlfriend/

[cailin maith]

but

WHS

[daviejones]

What do you call a donkey with one leg?

A wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye?

A winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love?

A bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind?

A stinky bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes?

A honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes and playing piano?

A plinky plonky honky tonky stinky bonky winky wonky donkey


What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye makin' love while breaking wind, wearing blue suede shoes, playing piano and driving a Bus?

Talented !!!!

This made me chuckle.....

[BrilloPad]

One dark morning
black as night
I was woken up so
full of fright.
As right beside me
I could hear
A noise which drenched
my soul with fear.
With trembling hands
I switched on the light
And my buttocks clenched
extremely tight.
I turned and screamed,
for what I saw
Was the one I’d shagged
the night before!



A young couple get married and leave on their honeymoon. When they get back, the bride immediately calls her mother. ‘Well, how was the honeymoon?’ asks the mother.
‘Oh, mama,’ she replies, ‘the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic...’
Suddenly she bursts out crying. ‘But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible language. He’s been saying things I’ve never heard before. All these awful 4-letter words! You’ve got to come and get me and take me home... please mama!’
‘Sarah, Sarah,’ her mother says, ‘calm down. Tell me, what could be so awful? What 4-letter words has he been using?’
‘Please don’t make me tell you, mama,’ wept the daughter, ‘I’m so embarrassed. They’re just too awful. You’ve got to come and get me and take me home... please mama.’
‘Darling, baby, you must tell me what has upset you so much... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words.’ Still sobbing, the bride replies,
‘...words like dust, wash, iron, and cook...’



Whilst at a barbecue, a man looks at his wife who is helping to cook the food and says:
‘Darling, your bum is getting as big as that barbecue grill.’
Later that night while in bed, the man tries to get his wife in the mood for love, to which her response is: ‘Are you sure you want to warm up this big grill for such a small piece of meat?’



Q, When does a woman know if a man is about to say something interesting?
A, When the sentence begins: ‘I heard a woman say...’

[BrilloPad]

The Black Bra
The other day I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends.
One is engaged, one is a mistress, and of course I have been
married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze
our men by wearing a black leather bra & bodice, stiletto heels and a
mask over just our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange
notes.
Here's how it all went :

My engaged friend:
The other night my boyfriend came over and found me wearing a
black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask.
He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my dreams. I love
you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office an d I
was wearing the leather bodice, heels and mask over my eyes and a
raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but
we had wild sex all night.

Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice,
black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he
came in the door and saw me he said.
"What's for dinner, Batman?"

[scotspine]

Bob works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday.


His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a localstrip club.


The doorman at the club greets them and says, 'Hey, Bob! How ya doin?'

His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.

'Oh no,' says Bob. 'He's in my bowling league .

When they are seated, a waitress asks Bob if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.

His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, 'How did she know that you drink Budweiser?'

'I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club.

I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.'

A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Bob, starts to rub herself all over him and says,


'Hi Bobby. Want your usual table dance, big boy?'

Bob's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.

Bob follows and spots her getting into a cab.

Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.

Bob tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it .

She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says,

'Geez Bob, you picked up a real bitch this time.'


BOB's funeral will be on Friday.

[Money Money Money]

Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: "Congratulations, how did you do that?" The bat said: "Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family". "Very good" said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, "How did you do that?" The bat replies " Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children". "Impressive" said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. "How on earth did you do that????" he asked. And the bat replies. "Do you see this tower?" Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says "Well, I didn't".