Ice Cubes

[Churchill]

I stuck my willy in a glass of milk. That soothed it.

(No I didn't drink the milk afterwards!)

[Kyajae]

I stuck my willy in a glass of milk. That soothed it.

(No I didn't drink the milk afterwards!)

Christ!! your missus must have thought you'd emptied your love tanks!

[gingerjedi]

I stuck my willy in a glass of milk. That soothed it.

(No I didn't drink the milk afterwards!)

Why didn't you just not tell the misses and spice up her love life as well as your own

[NoddY]

I'll second that its bad, but so is chopping chillies and then chopping onions and wiping your eyes when they start to water !! I now chop the other way round now

Capsaicin (the active ingredient in chillies) is not water soluble. So wash your hands with some vegetable oil first then 'emulsify' everything off with washing up liquid.

[hyperD]

I stuck my willy in a glass of milk. That soothed it.

(No I didn't drink the milk afterwards!)

No no no!

Stick your dog bits in yoghurt (emulsion) - that should counteract the effects of the capsaicin. A large cucumber should help keep your mind of the swelling as well.

[Colemanisor]

I've done that the juice from chillies seems to penetrate the pores of your skin and no amount of washing will get rid of it, you just have to put up with a slow burn!

Garlic is the same, it doesn't burn but your fingers stink for days.

Not sure about garlic but I've suffered similar medium-term finger-smell from Scampi Fries

[freakydancer]

Straight outta compton, crazy motherf**ker named Ice Cube

[angusglover]

My missus convinced her friend to shove an ice cube up her boyfriends arse as it is supposed to prolong erection....she wanted to do it to me but I soon put a stop to that.....one way traffic love!!!!

[The Lone Gunman]

I was showing a friend how to make a proper chilli using proper ingredients not powder. He was keen and wanted to do all the chopping so I let him.

He then went home and got all amorous with the missus. You can guess the rest, She was not amused. She went from oooohhhh to aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh in a couple of seconds apparently.

Funny thing with garlic, the smell can be absorbed through the skin. If you rub the soles of your feet with garlic (why?) your breath will smell.

[Churchill]

I was showing a friend how to make a proper chilli using proper ingredients not powder. He was keen and wanted to do all the chopping so I let him.

He then went home and got all amorous with the missus. You can guess the rest, She was not amused. She went from oooohhhh to aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh in a couple of seconds apparently.

Funny thing with garlic, the smell can be absorbed through the skin. If you rub the soles of your feet with garlic (why?) your breath will smell.

Garlic does burn the skin on my hands. Not the finger tips but I got some garlic on the back of my hand and it did burn!