Michael Barrymore has been asked to host a new show:
"Only pools and corpses"
"Only pools and corpses"
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I Want to Buy That
A blonde goes into a nearby store and asks a clerk if she can buy the TV in the corner.
The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black.
The next day she returns to the store and asks the same thing, and again, the clerk said he doesn't serve blondes.
Frustrated, the blonde goes home and dyes her hair yet again, to a shade of red.
Sure that a clerk would sell her the TV this time, she returns and asks a different clerk this time.
To her astonishment, this clerk also says that she doesn't serve blondes.
The blonde asks the clerk, "How in the world do you know I am a blonde?"
The clerk looks at her disgustedly and says,"That's not a TV -- it's a microwave!"Choose a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your lifeComment
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Did you hear about the cowboy who rode into town wearing brown paper trousers, a brown paper hat and a brown paper jacket?
He was hung for rustling.
I thank you.Comment
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Originally posted by Moose423956
whey-hey!!
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A man was driving through town when he came to a queue of traffic not paying much attention he accidentally rear ended the car in front. Upon this the driver of the car, a dwarve, gets out and comes up to the other driver and says "I'm not happy" to which the driver replies "So which one of the dwarves are you??"Comment
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Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said Implants?" She hit me.
I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
Car sticker of the year:
"If you can read this, thank a teacher....and since it's in English, thank a soldier"Wait, I still function!"Comment
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7 dwarves in a bath. They all felt Happy. Happy got out so they all felt Grumpy.Originally posted by Barriebazg
Dog watching a line of ducks walk past. Dog asks the first one "how are you" duck rplies "smashing, in and out of puddles all day" dog asks the next 3 and gets the same reply. Then asks the fourth who replies "i'm Puddles and i'm pissed off".I am not qualified to give the above advice!
The original point and click interface by
Smith and Wesson.
Step back, have a think and adjust my own own attitude from time to timeComment
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Q: What do you call a woman standing far out on the horizon?
A: Dot
Q: What do you call a woman propping up the bar in a pub?
A: EileenComment
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Originally posted by Swiss Tony
Ha ha, very goodComment
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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Doug.
What do you call a man without a spade in his head? Douglas.
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in a swimming pool? Bob.
What do you call a man under a pile of leaves? Russell.
What do you call a woman who takes you to court? Sue.
What do you call a woman who gets up early? Dawn.
Shall I go on?Comment
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