The Cr@ppest Interview Questions; Your nominations please

[Kyajae]

I was once asked to describe myself in 3 words. So I replied "My numeracy's getting better" Needless to say is went completely over their heads.

[freakydancer]

"So, why do you want to work here?"

"Uh, the agency put me forward - I didn't know it was this company until this morning"

[andy]

What is your weakness

I like to do blondes

[threaded]

If you could chat to anyone, alive or dead, who would it be?

Erm, the alive one!

[andy]

whats your strength ?

[OwlHoot]

(In interview for contract) "Your CV shows you're only in most jobs for six months to a year. Does that mean you find it hard to settle down?"

Answer I wanted to give: "Those are contracts, knucklehead, as it clearly says on the CV!"

Answer I gave: "Ah, those are contracts, extended in three monthly intervals. So as you can see, those clients were satisfied with my performance."

[andy]

Would you rather consider joing us as permanent staff ?

Feck off

[gingerjedi]

It pi55es me off when you get asked the bog standard questions like why do you want to work for Joe bloggs plc etc, I'm mean who has ever answered that one honestly? If you said "it pays way above benchmark and it’s at the bottom of my road which is handy" would they be impressed?

Or, where do you see yourself in 5 years? "In the same job with maybe one promotion if I'm lucky"... will that do? No you feel compelled to real out a load of old bollox about how you expect to go far.

It least with contracting they know the score i.e. I am here for the money and nothing else... now show me the money!!!

[zathras]

Would you rather consider joing us as permanent staff ?

Feck off

Which bit of 'No' do you not understand. Is it the 'N' or the 'o'?

[Sysman]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

It's only a 3 month contract FFS!

No I didn't get that one. It was but 10 minutes away from home for me, but they preferred to ship someone from 200 miles away and condemn them to 3 months of living out of a suitcase.