Originally posted by Sockpuppet
Leicestershire humour! Total mint!
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Leicestershire humour! Total mint!
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The worst opening questions I was ever asked were:
Them - "Well Ms. Smith please talk me through your CV"
Me - "I'm not miss smith"
Them - "oh who are you then?"
Me - "Provided name"
Them - "oh, Ms. Smiths CV is much better suited than yours - why are you here?"
Me (Walking through the door) because some stupid idiot arranged the interview for the wrong person, suggest you talk to Ms. Smith........Comment
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Why should we employ you?
Because I can do the work, and I'm a really nice guy."See, you think I give a tulip. Wrong. In fact, while you talk, I'm thinking; How can I give less of a tulip? That's why I look interested."Comment
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I have been asked all sorts of stupid technical questions which are easy to look up online.
All the roles I take require IB knowledge. The technical side is trivial relative to this. Why do clients do this?
It was better in the late 80s - 10 minute interview to see if your face fitted - if you couldn't do the job you were sacked. Although I did have a "40 hour" interview with Goldman Sachs in 2000 - that was good.Comment
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I have had to do interviews at various points and had some really stupid candidates. One chap stared at me hypnotically for the whole hour - turns out he lost the last interview for lack of eye contact.
I did several 1 hour slots where I did 1 minute on the company, 4 minutes on brief overview of the candidate, 30 minutes on technical question then 25 minutes on how candidate fitted into the company and what the company wanted.
This chap overran his 4 minute slot of a brief overview - was still going full flow after 20 minutes. I nearly threw him out - but wandered how long he could talk for. He used up the whole hour.Comment
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Often when I am interviewing and they are off guard at the end I throw in "If I were to give you £100, what would you do with it ?"
I find the responses quite revealing.Comment
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What answers did you get then? "Buy crack"?Originally posted by the guy with the bowtie"Experience hath shewn, that even under the best forms of government those entrusted with power have, in time, and by slow operations, perverted it into tyranny. "
Thomas JeffersonComment
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I applied for a job at Amstrad, the feckin idiot gravel faced boss sent me out to make and sell chocolate lollies... WTF has that got to with anything? He was very rude during my appraisal so I told him where to stick his poncy job... it didn't pay enough anyway.Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave JohnsonComment
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What is your weakness ?
I masturbate more than is probably healthy....
Mate went for a job from school - chap gets a map out and says - you have put down you were a scout. He gave him a grid reference and a number of directions and distances from the start point, then said looking north west what can you see - it was a church apparently...Comment
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Never needed an interview since becoming a Freemason.Comment
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