Please read this if you are desperate and feel you are running out of options

[davetza]

**Mods please consider making this a sticky. i think in the next few months/years there are going to be people coming to this forum who feel they have been blindsided by what is happening and may be desperate enough to try and take their own life and I have already seen some comments about people taking their lives in a few threads on this channel. This is not about the right or wrongs of what has happened but about being realistic about the mindset of people who may be reading these forums**

If you are feeling desperate about the situation you are finding yourself in with regards to the HMRC please talk to someone about what is happening (talking on forum does not count). Please talk to a friend, a family member or someone from an organisation like Samaritans (ph. 116 123). Sharing what you are going through with someone can make a big difference to how you feel even if the circumstances don't change.

Talking about financial matters is not easy or normal for most people and there may be a feeling of shame about the situation holding you back from talking to someone. It might be helpful to frame the conversation like this

- You made a mistake and a lot of other people have made the same mistake
- This was openly and widely marketed and no action was taken by the HMRC to shut the schemes down when the action started
- The HMRC are now taking retrospective action but are only targeting the end users of the scheme not the schemes promoters or end clients who may have forced people into using the scheme

Please also remember that it is just money. Yes it is crappy to maybe maybe lose your home and go bankrupt and see your earnings from a lot of hard work disappear but you can survive and rebuild afterwards. I can't speak for everyones situation but please take time to consider what you do have and what the HMRC cannot take away from you.

I am not an expert on this by any means so if anyone has other suggestion or messages of encouragement please post them below and if you are feeling desperate please talk to someone.

[webberg]

Would absolutely agree with the above.

Like the poster, I and my team are not experts in therapy or whatever, but I can guarantee that we have seen or heard your situation and we can put some perspective on it.

We'd rather spend a free 30 minutes on the phone with you than something drastic happening.

Nothing is ever quite as dark as you might think.

[JPB]

Maybe I shouldn't be replying to this , but I've had to think about if my kids are better off with me not being around knowing there home is secure and safe ... it's the only thing in life I wanted to give to my kids and now HMRC are taking that away unless I give my life ... which I would do for my kids. I also have other thoughts but don't want to put on a public furum.

[SummerhillLass]

Better off ?

You are not alone in feeling like that; I recently had a week of feeling as though actually I am what stands in the way. If I wasn't here, my ex husband would have the house, could pay the bill, the children would be secure. I have rallied since, but I do resonate with what you are going through.

For me, posting on here and telling my story, ringing lawyers and solicitors and journalists and MPs gave me a slight bit of hope, but also made me feel that at least my voice was being heard, that I even had a voice.

Yes, it is only money at the end of the day, but I won't ever have those sort of wages again; my lifestyle will be irreparably altered by the persistence of HMRC. If they were only reasonable, but it feels like they want to break us - some days it feels really persecutory and personal and other days, I forget about it almost, because after all, what can I do ? There is no money to repay it; my ex is making them an offer this week of monthly repayments and they can say no, I guess. I am writing a letter to the Adjudicator but probably nothing will happen. I posted on here because I felt so low; its been good to be able to connect with others and know that I am not as isolated as I had felt. Deeply grateful for this thread.

[eek]

@summerhilllass believe it or not no matter what you will survive and eventually be happy - the human mind is remarkable in how quickly it will recover happiness when things are settled.

Mrs Eek’s aunt And uncle ended up bankrupt in 92 (they foolishly over extended and bought a bed and breakfast in 1988 that went wrong).

5 years later (1997 onwards) everything was fine again -granted it took them a while to buy a house but they now have one and are still happy.

[davetza]

Maybe I shouldn't be replying to this , but I've had to think about if my kids are better off with me not being around knowing there home is secure and safe ... it's the only thing in life I wanted to give to my kids and now HMRC are taking that away unless I give my life ... which I would do for my kids. I also have other thoughts but don't want to put on a public furum.

I can understand that maybe you feel like a failure because you might not be able to provide the type of home you want for your kids. The stress of the situation is possibly also affecting your relationship with them at the moment which can also lead to feelings of guilt and shame as you feel you are not being a good parent. I am pretty sure however that most kids would rather have their parents then the perfect house or amazing presents. It won't be easy but you can come through bankruptcy and come out the other end but you need support which is why I am suggesting talking to people.

[ChimpMaster]

Kids, certainly when younger, only want their parents with them. They don't care about the house or the car or other big ticket items. Yes they want toys and games but only the little things. Mostly they just want time from their mum and dad.

If you can give them that, then you're better than 90% of the parents out there.

And at the very least, when HMRC have taken your money, confidence and trust, you can get a council house and have the government pay for your life. They wanted your money, but now you have nothing more to give.

At least you will still have the most important thing in the world - time with your children.

[HMRC made Atlas Shrug]

Been there, learnt the lesson, still not easy

Hi,

I was "lucky" in that I experienced (saw) financial hardship as a child when my parents ran into difficulties with their business. Our parents told us there was no money left and we accepted it without blaming them. We just adapted to the new reality and life carried on. We were all better off for still having our parents around, I would not have wanted it any other way.

Having said that, it is still difficult for me to be "happy" about what is happening to us. Although I went through financial hardship as a child, I am at what the (parasitic) civil service (HMRC) is doing to us. What happened to my parents was something that can happen to any business, what is happening to us is theft. This whole mess changed my political outlook, I will now always vote against whatever the establishment want us to vote for. No matter which party is in charge because they are all the same, the people working in the civil service (HMRC) is the constant, they don't change. They are looking out for themselves, their pensions are safe. They are the problem.

My new retirement plan: The civil service (HMMafia) stole a large chunk of my hard earned savings (my pension). Should I run out of money, I will be wanting a free house and be living on benefits.

Try to live to a ripe old age so you can recoup the money they are stealing off you now. If you can live long enough, maybe even cost them more than what they are stealing off you now. This is my (forced) updated retirement plan.

[LOL17]

I would just like to add that every debt problem has a solution. If you are worried about how your going to pay this money to HMRC then give one of the debt charities a call; CAP UK, National Debtline, Step Change, or if you're still self-employed Business Debtline. I was pleasantly surprised after using Step Change's online debt remedy tool to learn that I had options which wouldn't involve losing my home so I'm going to give them a call later after work.

[Runster]

Kids, certainly when younger, only want their parents with them. They don't care about the house or the car or other big ticket items. Yes they want toys and games but only the little things. Mostly they just want time from their mum and dad.

If you can give them that, then you're better than 90% of the parents out there.

And at the very least, when HMRC have taken your money, confidence and trust, you can get a council house and have the government pay for your life. They wanted your money, but now you have nothing more to give.

At least you will still have the most important thing in the world - time with your children.

I’ve found the reason young kids like big ticket items is cos they like big boxes. Someone gave me the advice to make a 5 year plan. Excellent advice. I’m already spending more time with my kids, the shock has given me more perspective. More time with kids is free, getting fit and living healthier is free, not spoiling your kids is good for them and saves you money. There are ways we can aim to draw benefits from this, to balance out the negatives.

Runster