Bonkers

[suityou01]

So to cut a long post short. They've offered you some extra sweets and a chance to see a puppy. I think they call that 'grooming'. I'll get you the number for SEOPS.

I guess the key differences here are that the gig actually exists and I'll be boarding a real plane.

[SimonMac]

So to cut a long post short. They've offered you some extra sweets and a chance to see a puppy. I think they call that 'grooming'. I'll get you the number for CEOP.

FTFY

I thought you would have known the right name given all the time they have interviewed you

[DirtyDog]

Yep. To be fair it was a 6 monther but got cut short. Budgets. The other one is a 3 monther as well so it doesn't narrow it down. This is the IB gig based in Cambridge and Jersey.

So you've not started yet and already they want shot of you?

[SimonMac]

I guess the key differences here are that the gig actually exists and I'll be boarding a real plane.

[MarillionFan]

FTFY

I thought you would have known the right name given all the time they have interviewed you

No I was right the first time, definitely SEOP. The Suity Exploitation & Online Protection Centre.

[DirtyDog]

No I was right the first time, definitely SEOP. The Suity Exploitation & Online Protection Centre.

And the spurious "S" at the end of "SEOPS" stands for....

[aussielong]

I'm not sure what theyve told you Suity, but you won't be doing banking BA work. You'll be doing interfaces between systems. I assume you are something like a TIBCO BPM guy. Dont worry, that is not unusually stressful because you are far away from the money making.

To be near the money making as a dev or BA you'd have to have decent knowledge of the below as well as sharp and accurate dev skills, an ability to work under a lot of pressure, and a capacity for binge drinking:

Market data... Curve building
Pricing
Risk - scenario analysis
Product knowledge - trade life cycle and how it ties into accounting
PnL


And you've got to know enough about this to explain the numbers to someone who is trying to intimidate you.

If you put bugs into prod, you are quickly sidelined. So this pressure is relentless.

Also, there's no IB trading floors in Cambridge surely. You'll be the only non-bob in an infrastructure team. That's not proper banking, you could be anywhere.

Did you mention your chartist / technical analysis skills in the interview?

Here's a tip, write defensive code and always do your own analysis and testing.

[SimonMac]

No I was right the first time, definitely SEOP. The Suity Exploitation & Online Protection Sentre.

FTFY again

[MarillionFan]

Just act like one of them Suity and you'll fit right in.

[Old Greg]

FTFY

I thought you would have known the right name given all the time they have interviewed you

No, he was right first time. S is for Special. It is the unit that deals with persistent child sex offenders, who are themselves vulnerable, typically by virtue of a dual diagnosis of learning disability and personality disorder.